The Brutally Honest 6 Reasons You Are Still Overfat

(* Edit January 30th 2015 – In response to my use of profanity. Yes, I swear in here. Yes, I meant to. Yes, I know more words than curse words. Like Quentin Tarantino uses profanity for dramatic effect, so do I. If I were writing for a scientific journal or magazine – both of which I have done – I would compose my prose differently. However, it is a blog. My blog. And I will write as I wish. And this is not meant to be motivational – this is supposed to be an eye opener, a kick in the pants, something to cut through the crap and cause a reaction. Which it very much has. )


I haven’t written a new blog in quite some time. Why? Because every time I go to write a new blog I realize that I have already made a post on the topic, most often many years ago. So I just repost that. How does this happen? It happens because there is very little that is new in fitness.

Sure we repackage things and create flashy new titles for the same old same old. The zone diet has become the paleo diet. Ab workouts became core training, which is becoming functional fitness. Warm-ups became prehabilitation, which is becoming movement training. It’s all the same stuff at the most basic level. When you actually break it all down to individual components you will see that it is all basically the same thing. Except the new versions are making a lot of money for those who are able to get creative and do the repackaging.

When it comes to fat loss (weight loss for all those over 40) things are no different. In fact I would say that the societal drive to ‘lose weight’ and have a skinnier (now leaner and soon to be more muscular) body is probably the absolute worst culprit for this lack of change.

I am told on a fairly regular basis that I am an asshole. It is something I have pretty much become calloused to. I used to wonder if it was something I was doing wrong, so I spent a lot of time trying to understand why some people consider me an asshole with a stick up my ass thinking everyone is out to get me, when in actual fact I have literally dedicated my life to helping other people improve the quality of their lives.

Of all places, an Internet meme summed it all up for me and I suddenly figured it out.see-through-your-bullshit-300x300

My problem is my complete commitment to honesty. I am simply too brutally honest. Add to this the fact that I can see straight through bullshit and it is a recipe for offense. Just ask my lovely wife how annoying this can be!

You see we live in a culture of jazz hands. Put on a smile and tell people what they want to hear. Maybe, just maybe, passive aggressively try and tell someone the truth. But never in a way that could possibly offend anyone.

Fuck. That. Shit.

I don’t live like that and for better or for worse I won’t ever change this. SOMEONE out there has to deliver the truth. Argh.

So this blog is designed for all of you concerned with fat loss and who are in pursuit of a leaner, less fat laden, physique. Be forewarned! This is coming at you in a brutally honest matter and from more than a decade of experienced combined with more certifications and education on the topic than 98% of the population.


The Truth About Why You Are Still Overfat


  1. The 2 Minute Rule


In a mere two minutes I can tell you if someone will be successful in their quest for a leaner physique. And two minutes is being safe. It is probably closer to about 30 seconds. And this applies not just to fat loss but also to the rest of your health and fitness goals.

If you blame yourself – success. If you blame everything else – no success. Period.

When I first talk to people I am not listening to the details of their health, fitness, and nutrition. That stuff is pretty irrelevant and I am going to be changing it all anyway. All I want to know is whether a person takes responsibility for themselves or if they blame everything and everyone else.

You haven’t been successful because you made bad decisions. You ordered a pizza on a Tuesday night. You surfed Pinterest for an hour instead of heading to the gym to train. You bought a tub of ice cream to ‘have a treat’ while watching Downton Abbey (confession: I love Downton Abbey).


My significant other brought home pizza so I had that for supper. I had to respond to my friends third cousins post on Facebook to debunk the anti-vaccination people and that is why I skipped my workout. Everyone brought donuts to work to ‘indulge’ while we sat around and talked about Downton Abbey.

See the difference? I made the decision. THEY all MADE me do it.

You are responsible for yourself. Either take responsibility for your own life and actions or blame everyone else and everything else around. I really don’t give a shit. Honestly. I don’t care. Because I am over here living my own life that isn’t affected by you. And that is why I am successful.

So make a decision. Take care of your own life or sit around bitching how hard everything is and how everything is someone else’s fault.

It’s your life.


  1. You can’t make a sacrifice.


I am seeing this pop up on a lot of blogs in all sorts of areas and I sure hope it sticks.

Who said life was easy?

Who said life was fair?

Let’s release the captive born lion back into the wild and to its natural habitat. That is fair. That is how it is supposed to live. Then the pretty sunset hits the camera with just a touch of lens flare as the newly released lion jogs into the sunset. Fade to black.

The camera isn’t there tomorrow when the lion gets hungry. Or the day after that when a territorial dispute leaves bloody wounds across its back. Or a week later when it is starving because it has never been taught to hunt. And a week after that when it is lying in a field unable to move because it is dying of infection and lack of water and its emaciated body is mere minutes from death. A flock of vultures moving in behind the lion as its ragged breathing finally stops. Fade to black.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate the idea of animals in captivity. But let’s not glamourize what life outside of captivity is really like. Forget the Disney version of fairy tale endings (* Edit – I messed up the Cinderella story – Cinderella’s sisters actually had parts of their feet cut off to fit in the slippers. Still to the point – fairy tales don’t exist – life can be hard and brutal!), real life is hard, brutal, and not fair.

You have to make sacrifice to stay healthy. Deal with it. You will have to turn down the donuts. Pass over the ice cream. Skip the odd party.

Forever? No. You can add these into a healthy life for sure. Not daily. Maybe not even weekly. 95% of your diet has to be perfectly healthy. That is the reality.

Life isn’t fair. Life is hard. You will get out of it what you put into it.

And when you decide to make real changes, when you make a commitment to yourself to make a difference, YOU HAD BETTER STICK TO IT.

We run challenges a couple times a year to help people make more drastic changes to their lives. Usually ranging in length from 6 to 12 weeks. Most people do really well. Some people don’t.

This blows my fucking mind. It’s 8 weeks. Seriously. You can’t make sacrifices for 8 weeks? And to be fair those who don’t make the length of the program usually are going off track within the first 3 weeks.

Yep. Can’t even do something for 3. Fucking. Weeks. And then have the audacity to complain or be down on themselves because they aren’t getting results! Seriously? WTF. You couldn’t even make 3 weeks of some small life sacrifices to change your health. I don’t feel sorry for you.

I am sure it’s your co-workers fault for bringing in that cake.


  1. You Don’t Know What a Treat Is


Treat /tret/: defn: an event or item that is out of the ordinary and gives great pleasure

You know the part about great pleasure. Chocolate tastes good. Wine goes down smooth. Nachos and wings are delicious. Cookies should be their own food group.

But you missed a part I think.

‘An event or item that is out of the ordinary’

100 years ago you had cake on your birthday and maybe a family member or two. 70 years ago you had a milkshake a few times a year at the drugstore soda fountain. 20 years ago you ordered Chinese food (the nasty deep fried North American version) a couple times a year as a family or at a party.

Today is different. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY you are exposed to ‘treats’. Donuts and chocolate milk on the way home from your kids sporting events. Trays of cookies in the office lounge. Bags of chips in the cupboard.

Every. Single. Day.

That’s without dinners and events every weekend or birthday parties, anniversaries, baby showers, sports events, holidays, and the plethora of celebratory events.

‘Treats’ are something out of the ordinary. If it happens more than once a month it is no longer out of the ordinary. Stop saying treat. You aren’t having a treat.

It comes down to sacrifice and commitment, like we talked about earlier. Come on. You’re a grown ass adult making their own decisions. Don’t delude yourself in an attempt to justify the fact you are fully responsible for the shit you plow into your mouth.

You are just eating shit. And that’s fine. I don’t care. It’s your life. Don’t cry over the blubber hanging over your belt though.


  1. You Are Planning for the End Date Already


When we sell annual memberships at our fitness facility we have a few red flags that pop up. When a potential new member is seemingly more concerned with how long the contract is and how they can get out of the contract that they even have yet to sign, we know the relationship is not going to work out.

If you are already planning the end then what you are doing is not for life. And if you are doing things for your health and fitness that you don’t plan on doing for life then you are destroying your own life.

I see it all the time during challenges. ‘Only 3 more weeks.’ ‘Halfway through!.’

You. Have. Already. Failed.

An end implies cessation of current activities. If your current activities are healthy then by default the cessation of those activities is unhealthy. They are your old habits. You know them, they are the habits and activities (or lack thereof) that got you to this point to begin with.

If the end point is in your sights I am telling you right now that you will not be successful in the long term.

It is awesome to have targets and goals. In fact it is imperative to have targets and goals. But those are simply markers, stepping stones, to the ultimate goals, which should be health and fitness until the day you die.

If you have an end date in mind you are already fucked.


  1. You Want Results Faster Than Your Laziness


Four week bootcamp programs are seemingly still popular. Two week diets! Results in just one week! 10lbs a week in weight loss!!

The claims never stop. They just keep on coming. Everyone wants results fast. They want results now.

Question for you: how long did it take to plump up that body of yours with extra adipose tissue?

One week? Two weeks? Four weeks?

Probably not. It was probably something that caught up with you over time. Months. Years. It is slow and steady and a result of many different factors all working together to plump you up.

It’s the parents of the other kids on the team who bring in donut holes and cookies. It was your coworkers who kept having Friday pizza parties. It was your job that got busy preventing you from doing any exercise.

Just joking. By this point you should know better than that! Seriously.

Those are all a group of compounding factors that led to you being fatter than you want to be.

Yet now you want to change and you think making ONE change (adding exercise) should have RESULTS in 3 WEEKS.

Wtf. Remember earlier when we talked about being a grown ass adult? Take that to heart again.

The same way it went on is how it is going to come off. Through a group of compounding factors over a period of time. You have to change your exercise, your diet, and your lifestyle and you have to expect it to take the SAME amount of time to get back to where you were as it took to get you to where you are.


Can you get results in 4 weeks? Sure. Will they last for the next 4 years. No. No they won’t.

As long as you are looking at short term fixes with definitive end dates, having a few treats, and blaming everyone else for your current state, you will never be successful.


  1. You Have a Shitty Fucking Attitude

This is the number one thing I believe will have the most effect on your long term health and fitness.

Your attitude.

This is something I rant about a lot. You need to read what I am about to say and really try to understand it.

You need to shut the fuck up about how hard you have it and how hard your life is. Seriously.

There are people who really have it rough. They have no home, no job, they have cancer or diabetes, they have been in terrible accidents and their bodies are broken, and many people have no way out and no hope to make it better.

If you have a house, can walk on two legs, use both your arms, have a job, a family, can go grocery shopping, drive in your car, go out for dinner, exercise, and free time then STFU. If you don’t have to be worried about your young daughters being kidnapped at school by boko haram and sold into slavery and you don’t have to worry about ebola decimating your entire community and everyone you love, then STFU.

The vast majority of people reading this will be North American middle class and above. You are among the luckiest of all humans on earth.

And you go around bitching and moaning about how hard you have it. About how hard it is to not eat cookies while you watch TV. About how hard it is to motivate yourself to go workout after a day at work. About having to eat pizza and wings at a Superbowl party.

You’re stressed because you have a little blubber hanging over your belt? Almost 1 billion humans suffer from malnutrition and chronic malnourishment.

You are so lucky. You don’t even know.

Why do I write about all of this in a fat loss fitness article?

It is because your attitude will determine your success. And your attitude is based on your life and the issues you deal with. And I want you to take a minute to put into perspective the majority of your problems and issues.

It’s too hard to exercise. Think about accident victims who are now confined to a wheelchair and would give anything JUST TO TAKE A SINGLE STEP.

You’re just too tired to exercise. Think about people living in fear for their lives of another missile attack or rape gang visiting their village.

Everyone else makes it so hard on you bringing bad food around. Think about all the children who are without parents because their parents are dead from preventable disease that could have been corrected with a healthy diet.

It’s everyone else’s fault. No. It’s. Not.

It is your life, your decisions. Your life is what you make your life to be. Period. Your attitude WILL determine your success in both your health and your life.

It is either a cold miserable winter day or a chance to learn to cross country ski. It is either a boring meal of roast and vegetables or a gift to spend time with loved ones over a bounty of food many people would literally kill for. It is either a workout you have to do or a celebration of the amazing gift your healthy body is.



Your life is yours to live. Be reasonable, responsible, and realistic.

What I have written is all true. It is the brutally honest truth that people aren’t telling you. I have coached hundreds of people over the last 13 years and I can tell you that each one of these 6 honest truth’s work. Every. Single. Time.

Take each of these 6 truth’s to heart. Live them. Mold your lives around them. And you will achieve every single health and fitness goal you have ever had.


-Coach Taylor

476 thoughts on “The Brutally Honest 6 Reasons You Are Still Overfat”

    1. My question for Taylor is this….you seem to have the key information to long term health and fitness…. you mentioned that you know in the first 30 seconds if someone is going to fail…do you standby and watch them fail or do you share this information you have posted with your client’s …pointing them in the right direction?

      1. “do you standby and watch them fail or do you share this information you have posted with your client’s …pointing them in the right direction?”

        The man is a professional. Of course it’s the latter.
        Your response indicates that you don’t care much for his advice.

      2. Give me a break. If you don’t like the advice. Don’t listen. I can tell in less than 30 seconds you’re missing the point here…

      3. I would guess yes, hence the introductory part of the article which goes into what kind of reactions he gets from people. The people who don’t want to hear it and want the magic results with putting no work in.

      4. As someone who also follows the 30 second rule, I would say that everything I do as a trainer and coach is to try to help the clients I am so blessed to have, HOWEVER, you can only help those who want to help themselves. I have had several clients with whom I’ve tried to reason and give honest feedback about perceived roadblocks. If they aren’t ready to hear it, it might go to a distant corner of their brain for later use, but it rarely lights a bulb right there in the moment. This always used to bother me terribly because I would take it very personally when folks failed even though I knew it was coming from the first conversation. I have had to learn that if someone isn’t in the appropriate stage of readiness, there isn’t anything *I can do until they are ready to do something.

      5. As a trainer myself you have to gauge each client after getting to know them.

        Some of my clients need a little sugar coating, some want to be yelled at, some tear up if I tell them they’ve not lost any weight after a week.

        The reality is that all of the above stated info is real, it might be a bit harder than you might want but its the truth. If a client thinks they can take a walk and change up ice cream for [presumed healthier] frozen yogurt and think thats gonna cut it…it wont and by not giving guidance youre simply screwing over the person who pays you to help them……[consider it letting your friend in AA have a beer after a week of not drinking.]

    2. thankyou to you for the motivation and to my daughter who posted your reality check, she is in heavy training for “The strong man” being held in America in a couple of weeks time.
      First lifted weights one year ago and has come an awesome way with dedication and a wonderful partner who is her coach and also competing.
      I have just competed today in the Australian National titles with a wonderful group of girls (ladies SMW) div Outrigging Sprints
      And we were all very successful.
      It’s now time to refocus for our indurance races, open water,
      And focus on the big one in Hawaii in August 62klm.
      I need to train outside our paddling sessions with gym work and swimming sessions independently, so your reality wake up is a great calling Thankyou and YES !! it is up to me WTF. 🙂

        1. Well said, Taylor. These are words of wisdom for a generation of people that would rather blame Fast Food than themselves. This is the first piece I’ve read by you, and I’m going to share and subscribe. Cheers

        2. I think it’s inspirational, especially as I was looking for motivation instead of being sold another book or drug or more bull shit. Great writing

      1. I would say that those who are looking for and expecting external inspiration most likely also fall into “blame everyone else” category when it comes to taking responsibility for an unhealthy lifestyle. It isn’t the rest of the world’s job to inspire you to be healthier.

        1. Why do they need inspiration? Self realization should act as motivation. Inpiration is external, motivation is internal.

        2. Judgement here. Just because you don’t need something doesn’t mean that other people are the same. I do VERY well with external motivations – so much so in fact that I have a whole system on how to bribe myself! And it works for me. It’s not YOUR job to inspire me – but there are others out there who do. Just saying.
          This is a great article! I am so going to share it all around. I have people all around me who go on about how miraculous my weight loss is (ok, not that dramatic) and they are so disappointed when I say the magic is to move more and eat less. However, now that I think about it it is kinda disappointing……. I would like a magic pill! But alas, it is just based on good old fashioned hard work!

      2. Actually, I’ve found this more motivating than many health & fitness articles I’ve read. I bookmarked it and keep coming back to it. There’s a lot of woo-woo out there when it comes to inspiration, but for me there’s nothing more inspiring than plain truth. I changed my life and became healthy two years ago, and I’ve been mostly on point (I never miss the gym, but struggle with nutrition consistency), but some of his points here are exactly what I needed to get better. #4 in particular is my worst habit!

    3. Spot on….truer words were never spoken. For those who can’t hear it, u gotta admit that the truth hurts. I too have a sick husband and a load on my shoulders, but hold no one but myself as responsible for me! Coach Taylor – I would love – and need – u as my trainer so if u are ever in Virginia Beach, let me know ☺️

      Heather M

    4. Or we just don’t care for such profanity. He is right on point and I own up to my being overweight so making a stereotypical statement is uncalled for.

  1. thanks, you nailed it, Brutal honesty never hurt anyone and if just one person takes note of your blog post then you’ve done a great job, and I can tell you I think it will be more than one !

    I just lost 56 lbs ( 4 stone ) due to hard PT sessions and a willingness to change my lifestyle, I feel fitter, look better and still I’m on track to lose another 70 lbs because I changed my total thinking…I also have type 2 Diabetes..but that’s not stopping me.

    Thanks, look forward to more of your blogs.

    Rob Haynes.

  2. I don’t think you are an asshole at all. What you said is the truth, it is up to us to make it happen. I did it before, then got lazy and lost the figure that I had gained. No lies, I can own it. Keep speaking the truth! Thanks.

  3. I couldn’t have said or write that any better. It’s like you’re in my freaking head. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve had these “talks” “lectures” with friends, clients and family members. This should be a daily read for just about everyone. So often I encounter people that pays for your expertise only to say “I’m not doing that” “I don’t want to do that” WTF!

    Good job. Well written.

  4. [email protected] says:

    Brilliant article and so true!

  5. What an asshole! ; )

    Seriously though, i’m not sure where this apathetic mindset has come from? In society in general it’s always someone else’s fault and someone else will always sort it out. People need to take responsibility for themselves in everything they do. With nanny state politics and philosophies abundant it’s no wonder…..we’re turning into blind slavish lazy politicaly correct zombies!

    Great article though lad!!

  6. I loved this. As a trainer I am so tied of hearing the poor me excuses. I follow the same mantra as you and the clients who can’t take it are not clients I really wasn’t as I know they will blame me for their impending failure.

  7. i do agree with what you said in your blog 🙂 I actually liked the way you bring up the subject , I hope it’s gonna shake a few people 🙂

  8. Thank you. I will keep this one on a wall to remind myself of the focus. The definition of treats is my weak spot.

    Good summary

  9. Didn’t care for it. Far more brutality than honesty, I am afraid. Of course, since these are your opinions based on conventional wisdom, it is wrong for me to question the honesty of the piece. Please read “Why We Get Fat” by Gary Taubes, or don’t.

    There is a terrible tendency to blame a fat person for being fat, as though the fault lies entirely between the ears of the victim. The thought goes like this, “Either they have no self-control, or they are lazy, or both”. However, a fat person can do everything that is ever recommended to them by their doctor or trainer and still not lose weight. The fault doesn’t lay with the victim of obesity, but more with the advice they are getting. Exercise does not lead to lower weight, it leads to increased appetite. The laws of thermodynamics apply to everything, but they don’t apply to why people gain weight if they eat just as many calories as they consume in a day. That reason is much more complex. You can’t work off fat, but you can maintain your weight while exercising. The advice to just not eat so many calories is also too simple. What matters is what you eat, not how much of it. Eating carbs leads to fat. Eating fructose sugar leads to fat. Not eating them leads to lean, even if you don’t change another single thing, and that is a law of biology that is as ironclad as the laws of energy that are misapplied when talking about gaining fat. dcarmack.com

    So you know, I am a not-fat fifty something that maintains his weight by taking the advice I give above. My gym time is spent increasing my cardio-vascular health, not losing weight.

    1. Thanks for your opinion. I do not agree with you but that is the joy of free speech.

      As someone who is was very fat and changed my life and who has coached hundreds of clients over more than a decade I have seen these issues time and again.

      You should do some research on your basic science. Unfortunately you are simply incorrect when you state that: 1)you cant work off fat. False. 2) Eating carbs leads to fat. Horrendously FALSE. 3) eating fructose sugar leads to fat. Again, horrendously false. Some of your comment I can understand, however you need to do some research on thermodynamics and how glucose and glucose metabolism work in the human body. You state that these are ironclad laws of biology. No. They are not.

      Carbs, of which fructose is included, are all turned into the same thing in the body – glucose. THAT is a law of biology. Your body REQUIRES carbs to function. Your brain lives solely off of glucose. Fructose, that same as other carbs, is converted into glucose. Fructose is found in fruit and must be processed by the liver before entering the blood stream. Refined additive sugars in our food are a huge issue, however, fructose is not.

      You state that things are too complex to be broken down into a simple understanding. I agree. SO you cannot make statements that carbs make you fat and fructose leads to fat. It is bad information like this that makes it so hard for people to get information that is actually useful.

      Also, you should do some research as the only truth in the calories and fat loss debate that can be supported by science is overall calorie deficit. If you want to lose fat you have to consume less calories than you expend. Period.


      1. Thank you for writing this article and and thank you again for taking the time to take down the distorted logic in the comments.

        I’m sorry people but the only way to loss weight is eating less calories than you burn. Why do you all think than the only effective cure for morbid obesity is bariatric surgery which literally makes you eat less?

      2. Actually Dan was correct. Your body does NOT require carbs! And you do not NEED to reduce calories to lose weight– that is a horrible cycle that leads to a wrecked metabolism. Your bodies number one source of engery comes from healthy fats- which are the most calorie rich foods you eat. Eating healthy fats gives you engery and stabilizes your blood sugar. Healthy fats will never spike your insulin levels- eating carbs and foods with any type of sugar (bread, candy, fruit, etc) spike your insulin levels. When you insulin levels get to high- you store fat. Period. So NO your body does not require carbs and NO you do not have to be deficient in calories to lose weight.

        1. You need to do some basic science research. Your body most definitely requires carbohydrate. The number one source of energy is not fats – you are wrong. High insulin levels do not cause fat storage. High insulin shuttle glucose (which is what carbohydrates are converted to in your body) into muscle cells and the liver. This is what insulin is supposed to do. If those places are already topped up then excess glucose can be converted to fat. However, if someone is very active and depleting their glycogen storage, then insulin will help replenish this important fuel source.

          You should learn some basic science before making bold statements.

      3. Liked the article! If people think you’re an asshole, then I wonder what they call me…
        Regarding the differences between fructose and glucose and sucrose, I used to think the same as you (as what we were all taught in biochemistry): our tissues break all the sugars down into equivalent elements, and they will all yield equivalent amount of the same thing: ATP, eventually. Right?
        Well…apparently not, or not completely, anyway. Our understanding of human biology continues to evolve, and along with it, our understanding of the ADME of various dietary factors, including tissue-specific differences in the absorption and metabolism and end-fate of various sugars. While I haven’t found any useful consensus regarding quantitative fructose uptake, it does appear the the liver actively scavenges much-to-most-to-nearly all of the dietary fructose out of the bloodstream, and converts it to triglycerides/fatty acids, which then affects hepatic glucose metabolism. Glucose, on the other hand, passes largely through the liver and goes primarily to high energy-demand tissues (i.e. muscles, brain, gut) for direct metabolism.
        There are some claims that high fructose diets can cause insulin-resistance in human muscle (in does in rodents), but these don’t seem to be well supported…
        I guess the bottom line is that we should avoid parallels between natural physical laws (well established, continue to be refined but upheld over past several generations) and our current understanding of biology (defined by continuous change as new information is reported), because at least in biomedical sciences, it’s clear that the more we learn, the more we realize we didn’t know.
        A few recent reviews on liver sugar metabolism:

      4. Excellent, but don’t forget the “Calories in” rule doesn’t apply for the 10% who have hormone producing, hard to locate, mother fucking NET tumors. I hate those fuckers! The ACTH producers are the worst. They make it hard to tolerate any food at all while multiplying and storing fat pads in every nook and cranny they can destroy all while using your own muscle for food further overtaxing our liver and kidneys making us sick. We are always accused of overeating then when we say how much we work out we get accused of using steroids. http://Www.Csrf.net

      5. Actually as a morbidly obese woman I can tell you both, that I think that both of you are right and that something has also been left out.
        Taylor – Thanks for the perspective. I plan to print and read everytime I start to fall off the wagon which as a morbidly obese person is quite obviously often. But when you put things in a real world and an big picture perspective for some reason it clicks. Yep I work, and I work 4 jobs, and I take care of my Mom with failing health and memory loss, and my Dad recently died, and I’m a single Mom, and my ex is an ass who never helps financially or any other way… no visitation, etc. And all of that lets me feel sorry for myself and think of being unloved, unworthy, unimportant, etc. But you’re right, no ebola, no missiles, no gang rapes… so thanks.

        Dan you too are right. As a 50 year old so much over my life was left out. 1) Never had to take anatomy or physiology, so it wasn’t until it was way past fat to understand how sugar, fat, etc is processed, and what the liver does (not just clean out beer and whiskey) what the pancreas does, and how my eating changed or didn’t change all that. Just learned the other day that the pancreas will only ever make so much insulin and then you’re done. Might have been nice to know when I was drinking coke like water. Never really know what all the saturated, poly unsaturated, mono saturated stuff was about until way past the 100 lb over weight mark. 2) Ive lived the women don’t life weights, do more cardio to loose, do more weight to loose, don’t eat anything white to loose.

        So yes Dan you’re right, I’m not an idiot, but because I’m fat I’m perceived as one. I, a genius level IQ, with a Masters Degree am not an idiot. I just learned way too late and now I have to change 50 years, unlearn etc.

        The part that’s left out… is even though we are in the best country, and over all one of the safest countries, with great abundance. I think 95% of weight loss is above the shoulders. It gets increasingly harder to work to loose and be healthy, when the little voice repeats what one has been hearing. I’m fat, people think I’m stupid, my ex thinks I’m old, and fat, there isn’t much about me worth saving…. and even though it’s for a little while, I feel better eating the pizza.

        I started eating better, working out, drinking more water, etc. I lost over 200 lbs. (2 years) And while I went every day, sometimes twice a day to the gym, walking in a pool, doing water aerobics, eventually walking on land, and doing Les Mills Body Pump, Body Combat, rowing, riding bikes, etc. One trainer at the gym who I saw often, and even said hello to on occassion, asked me one day, “Are you new? Can I help you?” He had even allowed a door to shut on me as I walked through one time. I was invisible, the fat 463 lb gorilla in the room, no one saw, no one cared about. Just another person who thought me unworthy.

        So it’s also lack of caring, knowledge, and an uncomfortableness for a giant of a woman to go where I can get help. Ever wonder why there are no work out clothes for fat people? Because so few care. Ever want to work out, but at a 54 EEE it hurts and their’s no sports bras? (SInce ur a guy I’d guess not.) Already being the fatest person in the room is daunting when one goes to the gym, even though I’ve since learned no one really saw me. But being the fatest in the room, and dressed in lyncra dress pants and top with three bras on, doens’t make one feel good about themselves or working out.

        These are not excuses, I did it anyhow… but they are all the reasons people don’t. It’s not only what they are eating, it’s what’s eating them.

        1. This was incredibly moving for me. I’m a bit ashamed because all my life I’ve had the metabolism of an active child even now as I have issues with lethargy. Only in a rare blue do I have sweet tooth cravings. I am very lucky and have never been able to relate to or understand the difficulties of someone being overweight for non-lazy reasons. You are an inspiration, Johnette, and thank you for your enlightening message. I wish I could be of some assistance to you with helping you through your struggles! I am going to save your message as inspiration for better understanding and compassion. Thank you 🙂

        2. Thanks for this brave post! Hang in there, keep up the good work of taking control of what you can, and get the motivation you need from the parts of the blog that speak to you! And don’t sweat the idiots who judge you on sight.

        3. Good for you!! I think your determination is wonderful. Although the article gave me some incentive, your post gave me more!! Thanks,

        4. Rock on Johnette. My first reading of this blog. I love this guy Coach Taylor! I’m more inspired by your post than anything. As a walking talking fan of all things Beach Body – and a fitness lover to boot- I smiled to read About your Les Mills and Body Pump inclusions. I’m a big fan of multiple disciplines and outdoor activities as well. I wish you the best and that you get to where you set out to get to!

        5. I would really like to see Taylor’s response to Johnette. It is my opinion that much of the content Taylor has to say is true. However, it is with the aggressive, STFU angle he assumes that I take great issue. I am sure he helps many of the clients he works with… But brow-beating people with “truth talk” and offering no compassion whatsoever is what I perceive as part of a harmful aspect of communication in many societies in the Western world.

      6. I love your message and the fact that recently I have realized how getting to the point I am at with my weight is my fault. When I allowed myself to blame others and feel sorry for myself I allowed an avenue for my excuses to eat. I am trying now to deal with my emotions as they come and am learning to tell people to fuck off I need to look after me. I sure wish you were closer would love to have you near to kick my ass on a weekly basis 🙂

      7. As a fat girl l almost didn’t click on this article because …well …you know….lol….but l really enjoyed this article and l do not feel you are an asshole at all. I think you are competely correct and nothing but honest in the article you have written. Although you will not see me in a gym anytime soon….you know…work…donuts…pizza…etc. l am sure there will be a time l will decide to make some life choices and when l do l will definitely be looking you up and more of your blogs

      8. It is true that just eating the right kind of sugar is not crucial to weight loss and that Dan overstated his points, but still there are some valid issues: (1) appetite and metabolism are probably affected by what you eat, (2) exercise can be good for you without reducing your weight. I don’t have the links in front of me but I have seen studies saying that being mildly overweight and exercising is associated with much better heart health than being normal weight and not exercising.

        It’s important not to exaggerate the connection between being overweight and bad health outcomes because then you get people saying very confused things like “if I stop smoking I’ll gain weight and that will hurt my health,” which, if true, is probably about 100 times less important than the health improvements from stopping smoking.

        Overall I really liked the post. Of course the points about not making excuses and appreciating our enormous privilege are much more generally applicable.

        1. Yes – excess refined sugars and HFCS in large quantities is harmful and all the research is showing that. I actually don’t think there is a debate – a lot of processed sugar is bad for you. Period.

    2. > The laws of thermodynamics apply to everything, but

      Full stop right there. No “buts”.

      If you consume less calories than you expend, you lose weight. period. You might not be healthier, but you WILL lose weight.

      1. The problem with the calories in – calories out perspective is that it’s extremely difficult to figure out calories in, and the more calories out the more your body will crave calories in. As a core concept it is moderately useful, as a calculation it fails for a few reasons. First, the number of calories listed for foods is based on the amount of energy released by burning each type of nutrient. The body doesn’t process food by burning it, so that’s not particularly effective. Moreover, different genetics and gut biota can lead to different levels of absorption and processing.

        Thus, it becomes far more of an issue of what you eat, and far less of how much. Exercise is important too, but one would be far better off thinking of exercise as a means of staying healthy and less of a way to lose weight. This is also true of a healthy diet, but if weight loss is a major goal, a healthy diet will get you there more quickly (though obviously regular exercise will greatly help). Also, caveat, for a small minority of people with health (particularly related to gut) issues, weight loss potential is severely limited. The perspective presented is useful though, because you can still use it to keep healthy even if not to lose weight, and you’ll really never know if you can’t lose weight until you’ve internalized this way of thinking, at which point you’ve succeeded anyway.

        1. Actually, it’s incredibly easy to figure out calories in. It’s called a food scale.

          And calories out doesn’t vary as much as you want it to. It just doesn’t.

    3. You contradict yourself when you say, ‘Don’t say just don’t eat so many calories in a day ‘ . and ‘ What matters is What you eat.’
      seems one and the same thing .

      1. I think he means quality of food vs. how much food. Like a huge plate of chinese food, or if I eat a huge bowl of chicken and salad. They’re different. You can eat homemade food or you can eat out every day. They quality is significantly different..

    4. Maybe you found the language more forceful than necessary, but I hope that you can at least recognize what the author is trying to say.

    5. I don’t disagree with most what you’ve said but I do think your solutions miss the psychology factor. If someone is not choosing to do the things you and I know will help them there is a reason. It might not be the ‘reason’ (excuse) they are using.
      Sometimes it’s lack of knowledge (and I refute what you’ve said about nothing new because there is more and more evidence that different people respond differently to different types of exercise and diet – health science is fascinating at the moment)
      Sometimes it’s needing a wake up call a bit like what you’ve written.
      Sometimes it really is other medical conditions that affect response/energy/mental state.

      I have aspergers.

      I know the diet that decreases my sensitivity to stimuli. It also reduces my body weight and my fibromyalgia pain. I know because I managed to lose 30kg and go back to full time work.

      I also know that currently (despite taking responsibility for my actions and knowledge) I am not eating in a way that supports improving health. I am managing at a plateau and there has to be a reason for it.

      I have sought assistance from a psychologist (which led to the Asperger diagnosis) and we are working towards more good decisions every day.

      I just want to remind you that sometimes people are more complex than we know and shouting is not always the thing that works. You probably get quite a lot of confirmation bias as those that approach your style of coaching are the ones that your style will work for?

      People are not homogenous. Epigenetics is getting exciting.

      1. Yes! You’re so right Joe! This article doesn’t take into account real reasons ppl might be having difficulty losing weight. I used to love exercising but am now unable to (except for limited & gentle exercise) due to CFS. Although I am careful as to what I eat & am of healthy weight, I am open minded enough to see that many ppl may have conditions which do make it quite difficult to remain at a healthy weight. For example I know someone who has severe mental illness & has to take anti-psychotic meds everyday. Not only do these drugs increase appetite a LOT, but they also cause the person to feel drowsy all the time.
        I know of many other conditions that make it difficult for ppl to remain at a healthy weight.
        Then there are those ppl who do not have legitimate reasons (as mentioned), but would perhaps still benefit more from gentle encouragement, not by being ‘brutally honest’ with them. Everyone is different.

    6. Yep there are always a few exceptions to these rules….I trained for years with a good PT, gained incredible strength, gained 33 pounds in muscle, ate really, really well which I was used to doing anyway so that part was easy, not competitive but really good positive attitude to get back to former condition, checked body fat yep didn’t even lose 1% so remained about 50 pound overweight!
      Even PT was perplexed….found the culprit though STRESS.
      So I stopped training and took up meditation and wow the extra fat started to come off with no effort.
      Learning to relax and de-stress took as much dedication as training perhaps even a little more and had even more health benefits for me than training did.
      When I have reached my goal I will then hit the gym again to build back up because it just plain wasn’t working for me the other way around.
      I agree that a lot of people make excuses but it isn’t always as simple as getting off your ass and eating well, just sometimes there are other things happening in the body that stop it from functioning the way it should.

    7. Dan I am incredibly sorry to say mate this extract from “Why We Get Fat” by Gary Taubes is not worth the time it took for you or I to read.

      It negates the entire psychology of eating and places blame on external elements. Terming the obese as victims is a bit rich. In years to come the obese will not be preaching to their grandchildren about the great obesity epidemic… you should have seen it there was chocolate soufflé and ice cream everywhere.

      Obesity is not the result of victimisation, it is in most cases (yes there are the few medical conditions) the accumulation of poor lifestyle choices compounded over time.

      The accusation that the obese are misguided and incorrectly informed, although at times this may be correct, is almost entirely rubbish. The truth is that most obese people are seeking a quick fix and as a result will often bounce theories, ideas and best practices off one another. The problem is that it is completely counterproductive. Their problem is that they don’t have the self-discipline or enough motivation to persist with a program long enough to get education and create sustainable long term change. They pick and choose what they like out of the limited guidance they seek and think that the application of this advice when convenient should get results….. sadly and to most obviously, this is not the case.

      Although the article was brutally honest, it was a fair assessment. One which could have even benefited from being blunter.

      With that in mind, this article has achieved viral traction in the health community spreading honest truth to a diverse audience. It has incited thought in the readers and hopefully, just hopefully inspired one reader to stop and think…. “He’s right I blame others, my attitude is poor and it’s time to change”

      Well done Taylor

    8. [email protected] Taubes. Do you even science? Does he? No, neither of you do. Carbohydrates do not make you fat.

      You do realize in your comments that you’re referring to a small minority of people who may have metabolic issues that will make it more difficult for them to lose weight? I love when people comment on articles like this and make sweeping generalizations based off of n=1 or n=16. You are not the majority. You are not a special snowflake.

    9. Dan – I agree with some of what you say. Eat less – yes that is the key though your body does need carbs and sugars just not at the amounts that the average overweight person is consuming.
      The big driver is to consume foods with a lower caloric density than a typical diet that consists of pizza/donuts/prepared meats/heavy dairy – you get the picture.
      I lost over 30 lbs. by switching mainly to beans, rice, fruits, vegetables. Eat the native raw versions, don’t disguise them as ‘smoothies’. With walks in the evening, light sports you will see results and it doesn’t involve a gym membership – besides being on those machines can be boring……
      A person with a sedentary job can get by with 1500 or less calories a day without suffering.
      Eat 4 or 5 apples/bananas/grapefruits in one sitting – bet ya can’t do it – you’ll be full. Yet one Big Mac and a softdrink will easily surpass that and you’ll be hungry soon! Instead try a cup of beans and a cup of rice for lunch and a fruit – and that can carry you for the day.

      Just my 2 cents . . . .

    10. I understand, and agree with, your point but you are missing the author’s. This article isn’t about “fat” people. It’s about people who move from one fad diet/exercise program to the next and never see the results. They expect simple solutions to complex problems and they blame others when the results aren’t what they wanted. I see this all the time.

      Take me, for instance. I gained 25 pounds this year for two reasons: the first is due to a change in medication, and the second is that I’ve been unhealthy. My schedule is insane with work, school and life in general. Some of the weight will go away once my hormone levels balance out, but the rest will stay until I put in the effort to change it. When I get busy and stressed I just “can’t” get out of bed in the morning to exercise or I “don’t” have time to eat anything healthy because I’m in a rush. Logically I know damn well that I’m making excuses. With a little preparation I could easily eat better and get the exercise I need. I’m just stressed and reluctant to make those sacrifices. I do want a healthy lifestyle, but I first have to break my own bad habits and adopt an attitude that takes reality into account. We tend to be very self-centered and that can lead people to forget all of the wonderful things in their life. I’ve been to third world countries and have seen many of the realities that this article talks about. It makes me thankful for what I have, but even then it’s still difficult for me to keep that as a constant reminder and maintain a positive attitude when I face my day.

      Coach Taylor isn’t talking about every person who’s overweight, just the people who only care about weight loss and short-term goals instead of healthy living.

    11. I like Taubes and I think he has some valid points. I have listened to his lectures and read some stuff by him and all the time I was reading I was afraid for the people who would hear what he said and think “Its not my fault I am fat”. That is not entirely what he was saying. You still control you. You choose to put things in your mouth or not. You cannot gain weight if you do not eat. Metabolism, genetics, hormones, mental issues can all make you want to eat more but you choose to eat or not to eat. You might have one of those underlining issues but that is your burden to overcome not your crutch to lean on. I had to learn this the hard way. I was 5’4″ and 220lbs and so mad that my sisters were skinny while I was fat. I cursed genetics for not allowing me to eat like them and not gain, for not allowing me to sit on my rear and still look tone, for not giving me what it gave them. None of that cursing made me any thinner or happier. None of the blame helped me put my fork down. Factors beyond my control had made the diet that worked for my sisters not work for me. This is what Taubes is pointing too and everything is true but it doesn’t actually help. Our research should be aimed at finding a way to fix those root causes but that does not help anyone today. We cannot wait around for science to find the answers. We have a method that works 100% of the time. Eat less than you burn. Now protein and fat are more filling for longer and so if you switch to those that method may help you consume less (this is what studies show is actually happening on the Atkins diet for instance). Some people burn less than others. If you burn less you need less so you should eat less. Once upon a time this was a biological advantage and most of us are wired to need less that we are faced with. There are a lot of things out of our control but we all have things we can do better and we all need to stop making excuses and make it happen. Oh and just so you know I walk the talk, I have been 120lbs for 2+ years. When I let go of the excuses, I let go of the weight.

    12. awesome response. gary taubes, not being a gym rat, worked for me. people need to also stop being brain.lazy. research themselves, read, then.decide or…go to local gym guy for advice. low carb, higher fat interval training and bingo. oh and bring optimistic.not neg like this article.

    13. “The laws of thermodynamics apply to everything, but they don’t apply to why people gain weight if they eat just as many calories as they consume in a day.”

      Gary Taubes does *not* deny that gaining weight is a matter of consuming more calories than you use. I’m so sick of that man getting flack because people who don’t understand what he is saying keep referencing his books. He simply says that that is an *incomplete* explanation for weight gain. He argues that people consume more calories than they burn because eating carbohydrates interferes with the hormonal processes that regulate appetite and activity. Thus it is much easier for many to lose weight on a low carbohydrate diet.

      Maybe you should go and read “Why We get Fat” again.

    14. This must be why there have been so many giant rice-eating Asians and huge, unhealthy Mediterranean people’s. Thanks for clearing that up.

  10. This may be the best thing I’ve ever read. I would like to work with you as my trainer. You.Are.Awesome. Thank you so much. I have come a long way and have a long way to go, but the responsibility and therefore the success clearly rest with me. Love this.

  11. I have to say it is refreshing to hear someone speak (write) the truth. I have dealt with many issues over the last year including the loss of my husband to cancer. The one thing I have kept constant is working out and working on keeping myself and family health. Yes I have fallen off the track were eating is concerned, but I know I am the one who did it not the situation. I am working my way back to healthier eating and getting back into the best shape I can be. No excuses.

  12. Wow. I am stunned and amazed at this entry. I have always been respectful of honesty in its most brutal form, and this is no exception. I have always considered myself pretty active and healthy, but boy oh boy this makes me relook at my life and habits. ESPECIALLY the “Treats”!

  13. Absolutely LOVED the article. Wise and motivating. However, just like the movies these days; they would be just as effective without all the “F” words. Loved your article and will continue to follow but I sure could use motivation without all the “F’in, F’in, F’in”

  14. Great post! Definitely something a lot of people need to hear (including me).

    I struggle with the concept of eating less calories to lose fat, but eating enough to maintain muscle mass. Do you have any advice on how to maintain both goals for someone only in the gym 3-4 times a week?

    I’ve just begun CrossFit and am about 100lbs out from a realistic goal weight… with type-2 diabetes.

    Thank you for the inspiration and much needed mental judo.

    1. To maintain muscle mass, eat the amount of protein to support your lean mass and balance the rest of your macros to maintain a caloric deficit.

      I’ve read 1-2 g protein / lb lean mass maintains muscle mass and I’ve seen the best results with this, 30 g fiber, and splitting the remaining calorie goal among non – fiber carbs and fat.

      Include resistance training in your workout and you should be more or less fine.

  15. As a fellow H&F Professional who get’s “I don’t like that Stacey woman” I feel you Coach!

    I am also lazy as hell when it comes to exercise (ironic I know) but am so NOT offended by your statements. It’s true. I’d much rather sit on my ass than train, and my body shows it (I’m what we all call ‘skinny fat’ … However, my body feels and performs awesomely and regardless of my lack of exercise, I never seem to start back at the ‘beginning’. I guess this is why I’m not offended, I’m like … meh, yeah, he’s right, but my body feels good and right too.

    It does irritate me when those who get offended are unable to see why they are so activated. They place external blame “You hurt me” . Nope, hurt is internal.

    Keep speaking the truth. One day there will be a paradigm shift. One day.

    I hope.

  16. Wow that’s being honest And hitting several points right on the head. Thanks, feel like you were actually talking to be though

  17. Taylor, best article I have read in a long time. Some funny points (and I know you weren’t trying to be funny)…Thank you for being honest, truthful, offensive, hard-core, brutal, and I can go on and on….but sometimes being an asshole does get the point across in a positive approach. Love your attitude and your drive towards fitness. I was a member a few years back and when I knew you were teaching the group sessions, I said to myself, this is going to be a fucking brutal workout because Taylor is doing it…ha ha…Thanks again.

  18. Coach Taylor,
    Your truth and honesty in this blog is a breath of fresh air! As someone who has lost 80 kgs and still has more than 20 to go it’s all up to me with when why and how I change my life! Little reminders like this are what I call REAL motivation.

  19. finally! A coach with honesty who takes the icing sugar (excuse the irony) off the sacarine coated version of the truth and tells it how it is.
    A grade blog.

  20. Very true & well said. I am one of those guilty of being complacent. I didn’t find this offensive at all because it’s the truth & more than anything I feel enlightened. I am responsible for me. No excuses. Cheers Coach Taylor. (Less the wine of course.)

  21. Damm. I thought you were talking about me. lol. I need to give my head a shake. I lost and gained weight my entire life. I have a million excuses to why its so hard. No more. Thank you. PS. I won’t bring pizza anymore to my co-workers on Fridays.

  22. I have personally lost 150 lbs and can relate to everything in this blog. I used to make excuses and blamed others…then I bought a mirror, looked in it and realized that was the only person to blame. I treated myself daily…no wait, multiple times a day and couldn’t sacrifice pizza and McDonald’s for my health. Anytime I tried to lose weight in the past, I always worried about what would happen after I was done the 4-8-12 week diet I was on. I never realized, that a diet may help me lose weight, a lifestyle change would help me keep it off. To top it all off, my attitude fucking sucked! I started my weight loss journey Aug 2011, lost 150lbs by Dec 2012 and have not only kept it off but built 20 lbs of muscle since.
    My biggest problem nowadays is that when I talk to people about weight loss, I don’t often pull the gloves of sympathy off. I have beaten around the bush too long. Thanks for helping me realize it’s time to get REAL with people!
    Great fucking blog!
    Pat Ryan

  23. Thanks for a kick in the butt we all need at times. You are right, the people that when given devastating news and say, “ok, what do I have to do?” and do it are my heroes. First on my list is my 13 Type 1 diabetic daughter who is a dancer. We got the news, and told the doc “well now I don’t have to wonder about how to eat”. I have never been more proud of anyone. She deals with it, dancing 20 hours a week and maintaining a straight A average. Recently when I was diagnosed with high BP and cholesterol I heard those words in my head, and knew what I had to do. Could not feel sorry since I already worked out 3-4 times a week and ate relatively well. I had to follow her example, just do what I have to do.

  24. I cannot aggree more, I still have shitty workouts or even an off week but I fell so lucky to even have the opportunity to be able to go to the gym and if I do have a shitty workout I don’t blame anyone but myself! I have goals and this is my life! I want to show my daughter how important it is to excersise and I’m 26 and my body scans show I am of a 12yr old. I am determined to run around with her grandkids later in life and be the best roll model I can in a cisioty full of bad food! Food is the number 1 way to kill your body! I teach her how to cook seeing as so many of my generation do not know how to cook something as simple as a pice of steak!

  25. I fucking love this. Really I do. I’m printing this out. This is all true. I’m guilty of being that person. My life is changing. I’ll send you my after photos when I’m done.

  26. Thank you . What you have said will be life changing for me. I am not joking, I am serious. Today I was full of self pity, unhappy with my extra weight, unhappy that a relationship just ended, turning 50 this year, and feeling very sad. I have a home, two wonderful children, a good job, can afford to pay my bills. WTF am I sad about? Time to stop making excuses and change the way I eat and how much exercise I get. I will do it. It’s something in my control. Thanks again.

  27. Bingo. I run ultras and have a few extra pounds. I realize I need to sign up for a few more ultramarathons and eat less. As we get older it gets harder….yep.

    Fyi. Search and replace “fat” with “low profits” and you have the start of a business book.

  28. The very reason people are rude is because they don’t have the will or the belief to stay healthy and lose weight. Everyone says they try and try. I call bullsh”t. They try till they are in need of a nice tasting steal or chicken. With a few cold beverages. They always blame the trainer. At the end of the day anyone can lose the weight aslong as they stick to an eating plan and be active. That’s all you need. Most people complain that they can’t lose the pounds. Meanwhile they are sneaking a disgusting mcdonalds burger here and there and drinking pop. They are the worst things for you. Drink lots of water and eat jhealthy foods prepared at home. It will do the trick. I went from 300 lbs after my accident down to 180 lbs. I wasn’t happy at that weight. I am now sitting at 205lbs, 5’10”. I could get lower but I love eating steak and dronking beer. That’s why I am always at 210lbs. If I wanted I could cut out the other and stay at 180. But I don’t want to and love myslef for the way I am.
    Regards, Todd

  29. After losing a load of weight over the last few years I agree with every word said here. I needed to read this today as I was on the slippy slope to weight gain, thanks, came at the right time for me! Be responsible for what goes in your mouth, its fuel to make your body work at its best…..in the western world we need to get back to that notion, we use food as “treats” for our children, so the circle will continue. Everything in moderation, its not that hard.

  30. Absolutely. Bang. On

    As a 44 year old middle class man living in London, who’s been through Paleo, Zone, Low-carb etc and successfully lost tonnes of weight then put it back on again…what you’ve written is the truth I’m only just starting to come to terms with. Best article I’ve read on sustainable fat loss, and I read dozens every week. Thanks

  31. 3 Reasons why you COULD be WRONG

    1. Existential Humanism
    Philosophers have been arguing for a long time about the extent to which humans have control over their own actions – reason v being. Your position leaves no space for the idea that peoples’ physical conditions might be to some extent affected by psychological factors not always within their control. Weight issues usually start with an underlying physchological issue that triggers a lifestyle imbalance, right? By your logic, a substance addict just needs to get a grip on their life. Anorexics just need to eat something – simple! Clinically depressed or suicidal individuals? They just need to cheer up! Post traumatic stress disorder in war veterans – pffffft! You’re terminally ill? Nonsense, you just don’t WANT to get better!
    Claustrophobics, they just need to…. well.. you get the picture.

    For all I know, all the above statements may be true. But what history HAS shown is that confronting people inflicted with psychological troubles with cold, unsympathetic, rational thinking rarely improves the condition and most often exacerbates it. Are you sure you sure you’ve got the right mix of encouragement, compassion and empathy tempering your brutually honest, self-accountability approach?

    2. You Don’t Give a Fuck
    This statement pops up several times in your blog. I doubt that it’s true but I’ll take it on face value – in which case, I reckon you’re in the wrong job. A person came to you for help. Just like a manic depressive on the phone to the suicide helpline, they’ve recognised a problem and reached out for help. Maybe they’re not yet ready to acknowledge all the causes of the problem just yet. But you pretty much told them to piss off because you’re too busy pumping iron and bulging your biceps to deal with someone who is vulnerable, impressionable and ashamed of themselves.

    If I’m recruiting a professional practitioner to help build up someone’s self-esteem, I want someone who has empathy, patience and understanding. That person needs to be taken on a journey that CULMINATES in total self-accountability and self-confidence. They don’t need to be slapped in the face and disgraced with it. Don’t tell the suicidal individual that you don’t give a fuck about them.

    3. Nobody likes gyms and personal trainers
    It has been suggested by some that gyms and personal trainers take advantage of vulnerable people. It does sometimes seem true. “Feeling ashamed and embarrassed about your body shape? No problem! Sign here, commit to this irrevocable payment plan, and we’ll head out onto the floor where I can tell you that (a) you’re fat because you make bad lifestyle choices and lack self-accountability, and (b) I don’t give a fuck about you.” I wouldn’t keep working with that sort of trainer either, so I don’t know how I could expect someone else to.

    No serious athlete of any kind likes spending time in gyms. They’re a poor substitute for the real world. I’ll take a sunrise tempo run along Bondi Beach over a treadmill any day of the week. Rowing machine? Give me a rowboat, thanks! Electric stairclimber? I’ll take the thousand step walk to the top of The Three Sisters thanks! Need to pump some weights? Why not use your own bodyweight in the park?There’s a whole world out there to enjoy exercising in. Who needs to pay some stranger to tell you they ‘don’t give a fuck about you’.

    1. I like what you said here Brendan. It’s a more balanced and mature approach. Besides honesty not tempered with love can be very hurtful and damaging.

    2. Point 1

      Those are obstacles but they do not need to be crutches. Everyone has obstacles. No one has it easy. No one woke up one morning in perfect shape and no one has perfect mental health. We each have to cross our own canyons but no one moves until they face the fact that they can do more than they are currently doing.

      Point 2
      If you are still at the point where you need coddling you are not ready to make the change and your money would be wasted on a trainer. The real scammers are the trainers that say “Oh I understand, you are under a lot of pressure, we can just take this a bit slower” What they are really saying is “cha ching I get another 6 months of you thinking you are getting in shape and paying me to reinforce that fantasy”. I see that a lot more often than I do honest trainers.

      Point 3
      I love my gym. I like watching TV while on the cardio machines. I like increasing my weights when they get too light. I like chatting with the other regulars. I like the people behind the desk and the trainers and even the sales people. I love the daycare that lets my little one finger paint and run around with other little ones. I like sitting in the sauna with the old people. I like that I can blow dry my hair without anyone tugging on me and saying mommy mommy mommy. Some people do really like their gym. Oh and I can guarantee that there is not one professional athlete that does not spend time in a gym. That part of your argument was kinda silly.

      Perhaps you need to look at why this struck such a nerve with you. You seemed to bring up depression regularly in this. I am guessing you are allowing that to control more of your life than you would like. Get chemical help if needed and then try to put down the crutches.

    3. Bollocks.

      Whilst I agree that there are some people with behavioural eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia nervosa, the UK medical stats show that these account for at most 1% of the population. Considering about 40%+ of the population is overweight or obese (at least), the special snowflake defence doesn’t stack up.

      You may be a professional happy bunny, but, as demonstrated by the fact we have an obesity problem, it seems that non consequential positive reinforcement doesn’t work. That’s just the way it is.

      Finally, as a retired semi professional rugby player who is friends with a number of professional and international players, the vast majority of us loved the gym and the advice our coaches gave us. Why? Because it made us lean, strong, physically fit and impressive people. Good luck doing that with your jog on the beech and your bodyweight squats.

      The reality is that you’re a bit butthurt because people are wising up to the fact that professional happiness bunnies are, to use Coach Taylor’s language, fucking useless. Sure, we can use motivational speakers and sports psychologists, but they use realism and know everything cones from within.

      Wake up, wise up, and stop playing the victim. It’s boring.

    4. Wow, excuses backed with evidence are still excuses. Everybody has some sort of malady that would affect their ability to exercise/eat right… mental/physical/societal, etc. I think what the author is trying to say is that if you are comfortable with your excuse/reason/scientific based blah blah, then please, continue with what you are doing. If you are not comfortable with it, then pick up a sweet potato instead of a bag of fucking potato chips and walk 10 laps around your fucking house! If all you can do is wiggle your left pinky toe, then do that 150 times. Our apologetic society names a new ‘disease’ every single day. I was diagnosed with chronic fatige syndrome myself at one time. Guess what, I lost weight and ate better and had more energy! Funny old world… anyway.

  32. Such a great article, I couldn’t agree more. I could use a little less profanity though, it kind of undermines your authenticity a bit.

  33. Truth. I’ve always been active, but as the years piled up, so too did the aches and pains. Two years ago I decided to change that and got serious. I’ve put on ton of muscle, fixed my aching knees, my rotator cuff issues, and my lower back problems.

    But I’m still over-fat Why? Because I eat too frigging much.

  34. A refreshing view on a topic that been spoken about over and over. Usually it’s the medical or scientific perspective. I like that this is just a reminder that people must think and do logically.
    Especially love the “treat” section. From now on I am only going to have treats on events like birthdays, weddings etc. None of that reward yourself and cheat day treats 🙂

  35. You are spot on! And I like how you cut through the bullshit and laid it on the line. I needed that. You’ve got a new blog follower.

  36. My mother always tells you the truth as she sees it. I respect her for that, damn uncomfortable at times! So I know the truth when I hear it. I will read this article more than once to keep me focussed, At 57 battling with your own sence of entitlement combined with menopause is depressing. Man I hate all those weight loss commercials……..get off my back…..I will do it my way!

  37. This is fabulous! Succinct and to the point. Thanks. I’m an asshole at work because I only eat the cake on my birthday… I’m an asshole at work, because I give people honest suggestions when they bitch about their weight. I’m a bitch when I teach spin class because I call you out if you are half-ass working out and complain you didn’t get anything out of class… I’m a bitch in the weight room because if you are doing something so wrong that it could injure you I step in and say something. I’m okay with this, because I know I do it out of concern and love. I’m really a nice person, but I don’t give warm fuzzy answers to real issues.

  38. You are by NO means an asshole. So you tell it like it is. People are always I hate liars, i want people to be honest. Yet when someone states the obvious, points it out like it is, we are the asshole because we speak the truth. You asked for it. If you can’t take the heat…

    I am so tired of people and their prissy attitudes, their not wanting to accept responsibility for things, always looking for the quick fix, the next THING that will help lose weight.

    You want to lose weight, take it from someone who has been there, gained the weight (due to their own laziness, desire to eat whatever) but knows that it takes to lose it and is currently working my assoff, you wan to lose weight well here it is

    It’s gonna take pain, it’s gonna suck, you will get bored of food, you will almost cry at the thought of waking up when it’s dark and cold to go to the gym. You want to lose weight, take some responsibility and put that damn chicken wing down, do not open that beer. The only thing it will cause is more regret. And what does regret get us, absofuckinglutely nothing. You know what will, grabbing a glass of water instead of beer. Nuts instead of chips, fruit instead of dessert. You may think you have a long road ahead but fuck the road, look at the now. Where are you here or there, you’re right fucking here. Be here, NOW. Be in the present, you worked out today, AWESOME step 1, wow you went again tomorrow, look you’ve strung a streak together. Great job, losing weight isn’t about the end goal, it’s about realizing the small changes, the small commitments, the small choices, the small efforts all add up to one thing, a GIANT FUCKING CHANGE.

    Keep it up, and realize the road is only there if we make that next step.

  39. It must be frustrating to hear those excuses. As a trainer you hear people saying they want one thing and doing another.
    Coming up with all sorts of reasons, except the real one which is they haven’t taken responsibility for themselves.

    I’m fat. Morbidly obese according to my BMI. I got that way by not investing in my own well being for a variety of reasons. Now my body is mad at me and it will take time, patience and love to correct it. (Ie healthy food, exercise, meditation) What are your thoughts on weight loss when your hormones are unbalanced? The Dr told me that it would be incredibly difficult for me to lose weight when my thyroid and my adrenal glands are not working properly. I’m going to stop focusing on results because honestly it’s discouraging to not see even one pound lost after a month. Your article reminded me that maybe it will be a year before I even start to lose weight.

    You are right about all your observations and being brutally honest is a gift and yet delivering brutal honesty in a way that shames other people is not part of that gift. You could be helping all these people who have yet to understand why they haven’t taken care of themselves if you delivered that honesty in a compassionate way. They are just people, who make mistakes, who are human even though they are fat.

    My other questions are how come you are so angry with all these people? Sure they feel hard done to in a world where there are others who have it worse. How come that makes you angry? How come their psychological pain is pathetic because someone else’s is worse? Would you tell me to suck it up because someone else had it worse than me when you don’t even know what’s happened to me? And how come you get to judge how I should feel?

    I ask all these questions because I would love to know. I would also love for you to know so that you can help all those people. You obviously care. I challenge you to use your gift of challenge in a way that doesn’t shame them and helps them understand that happiness and health are personal choices.

    Thank you for listening. I hope people are kind in reply to this as this post is meant only in kindness and the spirit of mutual growth.

    1. I sure hope you find ways to get as healthy as you can. Thyroid can do such upsetting things, making access to energy really difficult. Your body might not even be able to keep itself warm. I have a friend who was not able to drop below 400 pounds until she found the right doctor, who found out what she needed, and got her to drop to 30 grams of carbohydrate a day…..I’m sure that’s completely wrong for many people, but right for her….I sure hope you find what is best for you.

  40. so, how about a blog entry that addresses how you work WITH people with such attitudes?

    helping them accept responsibility, etc. instead of just blasting away at those you consider unworthy…

    THAT would be more helpful perhaps…

  41. I think a lot of people are really attracted to the end results of a healthy lifestyle: the fit body, the adventures, the compliments, the clothes, etc, which is all fine and good. Whatever boats your float.

    No matter how we dress up or dress down the facts, the simple truth of life remains unchanged: to get something you want, you MUST put forth effort to get it. If your end result is to be fit, you need to practice fitness. If your end result is to be healthy, all of your choices need to reflect that. The end result MUST be the sum of ALL the parts. People that try to circumvent the effort end usually end up right back where they started.

    Not everyone’s effort or input is going to be the same, and not everyone’s path is going to be a straight line. People sometimes need to fail a lot before they know what they want and/or what they’re willing to do to get to it. That’s okay so long as they keep standing up and fighting for themselves.

    I love seeing when people have this epiphany — to know what they want and to know what they’re willing to do to achieve it. All the excuses and obstacles become motivation and challenges. To see people choose to honor their bodies day in and day out is a beautiful thing. To see people realize the strength of their character, their persistence and dedication, is awesome.

    I’ve had a bad back for almost 20 years (degenerative disc disease, bulging discs, and all the injuries associated with my bad back, such as knee and hip problems). In 2007, I spent 3 months walking around bent forward because it hurt too much to stand up straight. My doctor prescribed steroids and physical therapy and I was eventually standing up straight again. The downside was that he didn’t think I’d ever be able to exercise or be an athlete again. In 2010, I went back to him for a follow-up and was able to surprise him with all the exercise that I was able to do, the weight that I had lost. He told me that if I kept going the way I was, that I would come to him in a wheelchair one day.

    In 2011, a dumb boy damn near broke my neck, herniating a disc. In December 2012, I had an artificial disc replacement. During the surgery, my surgeon told me that the MRI didn’t reveal that there was a bone fragment 3mm away from my spinal cord. I could have been paralyzed. In 2013, I ran nearly 1,000 miles on an elliptical.

    In 2014 the lower back problems came back again (losing feeling in my legs and falling in my shower twice). I go to my surgeon tomorrow to discuss options. I said this to my friends the other day: “I would give anything to have a bad run or a crappy workout today. Instead it is taking all of my strength and resolve to just shower. Chronic pain sucks. I just want a bionic spine. Replace the whole damn thing.”

    That’s my long way of saying that you’re right. It breaks my heart to see people who are capable of joyful movement wasting away because of their excuses, their rationalizations. I would trade them my reason any day.

  42. I laughed! It’s all true, but I heard everything I used to say and everything the people around me say all the time in this blog. It all boils down to this: Put down that snack and get UP OFF THAT COUCH! For the last two years, I have been doing that. The weight loss has been slow and steady and I have slipped up (I am human after all). I might not be fast, but I’m lapping everyone on the couch!

  43. Amen, Amen, Amen. Your’re preaching to the choir here.

    I know that I’ve gained a few pounds since last fall, and I know that it’s my own blasted fault. I spent all of last year undergoing chemo (20 blasted doses of life-saving poison) and then recovering from those 20 rounds. Yes, I’m in remission, and the collateral damage to my body is enormous. I tried – really tried to keep up exercise during treatment and the early months of recovery but I just couldn’t do it.

    The good part? I can now move without pain. I can climb stairs again. I went on a 22 mile bike ride this past Sunday. I am determined to regain my strength and endurance. It’s just going to take some time.

  44. My inside voice that screams these things when training my clients will make an outside appearance thanks to this! Thank you for the affirmations of our mutually held beliefs. You brutally awesome muthafucker. 😉

  45. #4 is key for me. I tried and failed so many times until I realized that if I wanted to really be healthy I would be doing this for the rest of my life. I’m ok with that.

    Keep speaking truth. That’s the only way motivated people will meet their health goals.

  46. I don’t think your an a**hole for speaking honestly I just think you have a potty mouth that is offensive to some. Every thing you said could have been said just as passionately without the vulgar language. Too bad, I would other wise post this. Your message is spot on.

  47. I now want to read every thing you’ve ever written. The world needs more people like you who are willing to tell it like it is.

  48. BEST BLOG EVER WRITTEN!! F’N love it!! Couldn’t have said it better. Nothing but the truth in this!! CHEERS!!! What I would do
    To meet u!!

  49. These six are spot on. Most people don’t hold themselves responsible not just in fitness, but in all phases of life. Taking responsibility for your problems is a powerful catalyst for change. I do think some times people don’t realize the garbage that is labeled as “healthy” actually causes insidious fat gain. Refined sugar and its derivatives are a menace in society.

    Eat whole foods that were either grown or were alive at one point in time emphasizing vegetables and you’ll generally be alright.

  50. I think I’m in love with you!! (Don’t tell my husband) The number of times I’ve wanted to say this very thing to people is staggering. Thank you for taking the words out of my mouth!

  51. Powerful article. It’s very hard encountering folks that have poor health but don’t take personality responsibility for it. It’s hard when I, every day, work to improve my diet and fitness and people gather round to oo and ahh and yet, do nothing for themselves. Then they feel the need to either talk about how bad they feel/express their shame/sadness/show me photos of their ice cream, like haha see what I can eat and you can’t. Which is dumb. And it doesn’t lessen the pain they are in. It just makes me sad for them. It’s hard because I’ve been there. On the other side. Been big and sad but starting chipping away, little here and little there and BIG HERE AND BIG THERE. And I now I’m CHOPPING away, moving foward, growing and becoming a dominate healthy person. So I sit with their pain. Eating my nutritious, pre-prepped meals. Sharing the latest PR in my gym (if they ask). It’s tough though. I have amazing in my life. I use to fight for it every day. Now it’s my normal. I wish the best for everyone, I wish AWESOME FOR EVERYONE. 🙂

  52. Pure AWESOME.

    This was forwarded to my by a friend who said it reminded her of me. I take this as high praise.

    I coach on the side and this mirrors my experience to a ‘T’. I just know who will make it and who won’t.

    I never heard of you before, the web is awash in fitness gurus, but strong work. I’ll be checking your posts regularly now.

    Best Regards

  53. Thank you.

    I’ve been trying to write my own words/thoughts in support of this article, but honestly everything sounds trite. You really put it all out in this article and I have nothing to add. I just plan to take these words away for myself and to pass along to loved ones.

    Thank you.

  54. Great read and pretty much sums it up! Even if you are someone who sufferes from thyroide issues or whatever other excuses, following these rules will help you live your best life.

    Love it

  55. One of the best pieces of advice I have seen in years. This article directly and frankly addresses the real issues at hand in the obiesity epidemic. This advice is really much more universal than the specific topic of being overfat and could apply to multiple areas in how people conduct their business and personal life. An excellent read and I’m thoroughly appreciative that my coach posted the article to our gym page.

  56. I think I may have just fallen a little bit in love with you :))
    But seriously, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I am going to
    post this in my workout area AND on my fridge!! We all make way too many excuses about why we can’t…. this is the perfect antidote to that…. Let’s do this people!!

  57. This is the God honest truth and thank you for writing and sharing it. Yep, been there and still do it. I’m posting this article in my house, at work, in the car. Hell I might carry it around in my pocket. I’m sharing it with everyone. Funny as hell!!!

  58. I. Love. You.

    You are an asshole, because you tell it like it is. I needed to read this today. All these things are true about me, and it has been a slow process to try to change that. Nothing in my life changed until I stopped thinking “I want to get skinny” and started thinking “I want to be healthier” and “I want to accomplish this physical task.” I wish more people would understand the things that you say.

  59. I think this is the first time I’ve read something that was actually brutally honest. It was great and I wish I could scream this to my own clients. People always want help when it comes to diet but they wont produce my required 2 weeks of detailed food logs beforehand. I don’t believe in meal plans, which is something they’re always asking for as if I might know the answer by just looking at them. It’s not like they would follow it any way. People change when they want to change and not because their trainer tells them to.

  60. I’m a fan of brutal honesty, and of understanding cause and effect. But, because you’re in the position you’re in, impacting other people’s lives, I wanted to address your first point.

    “Blaming myself” kept me overweight for decades. Acceptance of the “fact” that it was because I ate pizza that one day last week or ordered popcorn with butter at the movie theater that I couldn’t lose weight (despite averaging 1100 calories/day and walking several miles every day) was the obstacle that kept me from finding the real solution–which was cutting out a particular food item I didn’t know was reacting weirdly with my body.

    I suspect the same is true for many women, who tend to beat themselves up about weight problems. Don’t let your certainty that your client is to blame blind you to the possibility of real problems or you’ll become part of that person’s problem.

  61. Thank you for writing this. I started CrossFit in Oct 2012 at 285 lbs (5’9″) and have done very well to lose nearly 100 lbs until about 6 months ago when I managed to slowly gain back about 30 lbs. I found excuses were more important than doing the work by exercising and eating right. I had blamed poor decisions on being too busy, working too much, etc. It’s a hard pill to swallow no doubt, but in the end I do hold only myself accountable. Thank you again, I appreciate this blog on so many levels. One, for the sheer honesty of it and two, because it is added fuel to my already rekindled fire to get back with it. I have shared this with others already and will keep it bookmarked so I can keep it fresh in my mind as well.

    Thank you!

  62. You are an asshole !!!
    We need people like you .. I love everything you said and it’s exactly what people need to hear !!! Incuding me !! Great blog !!

  63. Great post, that made me LOL because I am exactly the same kinda coach and guy – a truth teller that often makes more enemies than friends whenever I’m tasked with giving professional advice. Of course, I’ve learned how to deliver the ‘news’ in a kindler, gentler voice, because our business depends upon it. If its OK, I’m going to blog and link to your post – it is worth sharing with our circle. All the best! ~Al

  64. You are not an Asshole.

    Remember that it is only possible to TAKE offense. It is impossible to GIVE it.

    To those that take the offense, have a good life. Ignore people giving you good advice. Drive on. It’s everyone else’s fault anyway. You are doing the best you can.

  65. Love it! The truth hurts and nobody likes it, I face that all of the time. I came across one of those memes in my own mind while reading. When your body is down, as you mentioned, it’s easy to fall into a state of acceptance. But your right, if you can walk, breathe, eat as much or as little as you want it’s all up to you! So quit bitching and get it done!

  66. I’m sure this is mostly good information. I just want to nitpick: Cinderella’s *stepsisters* cut off parts of their feet, and not just in the “Into the Woods” version.

  67. Well said. It wouldn’t be you, if it didn’t have a few ‘f’ bombs thrown in there ; ) I totally agree with you and I constantly have to work at eating better and staying fit most days of the week. And like you said, we are very fortunate and should be thankful for what we have! I loved your classes at Goodlife 😀 Kicked my butt! Bye for now. Wish you all the best at your newish business!

  68. Rock on – Amen – and Hallelujah. Where does that buck stop – oh yeah with the person with the weak determination, the shaky resolve, and the massive comfort zone that only treats can fill. Makes me absolutely crazy to hear so many folks complaining about their perceived problems when if they had a clue they’d STFU and get to working. This covers ground far beyond fitness and weightloss. Thank you – well said – I’m sharing this and hoping some folks take it to heart.

  69. I do not know if I would call your blog above the “truth” I would say that it is wisdom based on observation… having said that, I would also say that I am 100% in agreement with you and your observations… especially, the attitude part… in expanding the attitude part, it is just not attitude that is the problem… people do not understand or believe that they are, actually, addicted to junk food… it is an addiction!!! an addiction to bad sugar, an addiction to bad fat and an addiction to eating for pleasure and getting their “fix” by eating the junk food… it is an escape to their so called “hard life”… but, I also believe that any addiction (smoking, alcohol, food, drugs etc) can be overcome with the right attitude and strong mental will… I am not trying to justify these people, but simply, pointing the problem and the solution… excellent blog, btw, and I am also called an asshole very often for the way I express the “reality” of eating unhealthy…

  70. Love the honesty! I was crying with laughter and agreeing with you! It’s all true!!! My husband passed away 9 months ago. I have been healthy and fit all my life. Why stop now because my heart is broken? That’s just an excuse – one I did not use!!
    Hopefully this post speaks truth into people who are believing their excuses!

  71. For many people, you may well be correct. For others, you are doing a great disservice. Many of us are not weak, or misguided, or blaming others for our own shortcomings. This “no bullshit” approach may be great for Facebook discussion threads, but it’s nothing new to many. Being fat and walking out in public makes it very clear how we are perceived, even by other fat people. This article isn’t breaking new ground; it’s just more of the same with a self-promoting spin.

  72. I. LOVE. THIS. ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love every single thing you said. You are so right you should be an angle. I am printing this out and reading it every single day! And I’m bringing copies to my bootcamp to give out.

    Now, as a professional editor, I’d love to help you, if you’d like. For free. Really. Because I can’t be distracted from such awesomeness by typos like “tittles” (I really had to look twice at that one!). Please email me if you’re interested in having me proof your blog posts for free. It’s the least I can do in exchange for such pure and shiny TRUTH!

  73. This is a summary of a lot of things I have been reading lately. It’s the conclusion I couldn’t quite get organized in my brain. Thanks.

  74. Love the blog post…but Cinderella did NOT cut parts of her feet off. Her wicked stepsisters each did, however, in an attempt to fool the prince that they were the woman he was looking for. Sorry…I’m a brutally honest English professor…lol

    1. Thank you for commenting, Michelle… I’m a folklorist and was about to chime in with the same thing! Even so, with the stepsisters in the Grimms’ version of “Cinderella” cutting off their heels or toes, we do get the message that self-sacrifice is an important part of trying to be successful.

  75. excellent! A bit of common sense mixed with some “colorful” opportunities. A must read for those “trying” to lose wgt–it took me several months to get my head wrapped around these kind of concepts in my wgt loss journey–but when I did it all came so much easier! Good read.

  76. Great blog. Love the brutal honesty! I’m one who grew up overweight… My mom always had me in sports and playing outside and being active, but we ate crap food. She didn’t know any better. Sucks when you’re set up for failure with knowing how and what is healthy. It wasn’t until 2010 that I got serious. I dropped 110 lbs in 10 months.. Then lost another 40 over the next year or so. I’m also disabled and suffer from chronic pain and arthritis plus Fibromyalgia but staying active helps keep me mobile and helps with depression and anxiety. Unfortunately I did feel you were a bit harsh about clients not being serious or wanting it enough or slipping up. Just as you said the weight doesn’t come on overnight it won’t come.off overnight the same goes for the lifestyle changes we have to adjust to. Food addiction is real and if you’ve never been morbidly obese you have NO FUCKING CLUE. It is something I will battle for the rest of my life. Food addiction is worse than heroine or meth addiction… You can cut yourself off from the drug and survive. You can’t just stop eating. You have to take the time to educate yourself and prep meals and workouts and every little step so you don’t fall off the wagon. Its like telling a heroine addict… Ok you can still do it but you can only do this kind and only this much…. But then leave a baggy full with the addict. Its hard to stay motivated.. Its so worth it but please don’t assume all fat people who can’t commit the first 20 times they try. They need to know that failure is part of success you just have to keep changing and keep trying. Seriously though… Great read… Many need.to hear the truth.

  77. Thank you. This was the kick in the butt I needed. I do have legitimate health issues that contribute to my obesity. However, I also realize that I am primarily to blame. I have recently come to realize, and your article confirmed it, that if I would stop blaming my health issues, get a better attitude, and develop some GRIT, then I would go much farther in reaching my goals. I will print this off and read it until I internalize it, until I LIVE it.

  78. These are all great principles to keep in focus as you’re trying to lose fat – or eliminate debt – or just about any other goal you’re trying to accomplish.

  79. I like what the article says, and honestly I know how I got this way, I had to kids didn’t eat the greatest and then after the kids were born didn’t work out to get back into shape. Now that’s all changing no more pity party for me. The only thing I have to comment on was it wasn’t Cinderalla who cut her feet to fit into the glass slipper it was her evil step sisters. 😉

  80. this article is fucking awesome! 18 months ago I decided to change my life. I used to use every excuse you list here. Dropped 37lbs and competed in a bikini fitness competition within 10lbs – at age 46. Never looked back. You rock!

  81. Thank you for posting this! Wish there was a trainer like you around my neck of the woods. Brutal honesty is the best kind!!!

  82. As an overweight mom getting back in the fitness and healthy living mode again, bravo! It’s my fault that I didn’t attack my weight before or after my first kid, or my twins. And loved your attitude talk as well. We are lucky, and as my coach at the Y said when talking how he lost 150 lbs twice (he gained it all back the first time), he said it took a while to realize that nothing tastes better than being thin. Harsh, but true.

  83. I liked this…especially the part about STFU. I think I complain about my body a lot including my extra weight…but I try to keep perspective by reminding myself how great I have it. Especially around my body. I spent almost teo decades in pain and then another two years in and out of a wheelchair. I am grateful every day for the surgeries that helped me keep walking. My days and nights are still filled with pain but life could be a lot worse. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to exercise like other people do, but I will admit that I’m jealous–I often run in my dreams–I’m light on my feet and able to feel the wind on my face and it’s amazing. To be able to do that in real life must feel exhilarating!

  84. loved this article having always struggled with my weight this article was really interesting and motivating . I read it in bed with the flu and January blues and thought god these 6 points are so true
    Especially the one about the treat . Ready to get up tomorrow and stop eating shit I do exercise 5 times a week with a personal trainer but really need to now take responsibility for my diet only I can do that so Thankyou

  85. This is FANTASTIC! Don’t you wonder what a different world we would live in if we were all honest with ourselves?? If we were all accountable for ourselves?? If we all stopped blaming everyone/everything else and just did the things we know we should do? And why, as trainers, do we NOT always feel empowered to tell our clients exactly what you have said in this article (maybe in softer language)? Your article has given me renewed impetus to be HONEST with clients (and myself). Thank you!

  86. I am FAT and OUT OF SHAPE and I think I love you! You got me pretty well pegged. Sometimes honesty hurts. But really isn’t that what we all need. There are enough enablers out there.

    I need more of what you are saying!

  87. LOVE THIS!!! Im often asked “how do you do it” when referring to my fit appearance at the “over 40” age (in my case, wayyy over 40) and when I start telling them what I do, almost immediately, the response is “ohhhh, ok” with every excuse in the book regarding how and why they couldnt possible live like that…pfttt–whatever… like you said–ya get back whatcha put out–period…GREAT ARTICLE!!

    I posted this link to my fitboard on my bodyspace wall on bodybuilding.com 🙂

  88. Good information and I love the delivery. It is all about personal accountability.

    One thing, though. Cinderella didn’t cut her feet to fit into the slipper. Her step sister did in the Grimm version of the tale.

  89. It’s refreshing to hear the honest truth. Could have used this information years ago. I had to take responsibility for my health. No excuses! I just wished I knew how to break through this Damn plateau. It can start to be discouraging and lead to those Damn excuses. Thank you for the truth. Well said.

  90. Bookmarking to come back to (probably again and again) whenever I find myself “forgetting”.. Which is my “default” setting sadly but I’m good with lists and visual reminders so I’m thinking this will help. Thank you.

  91. Absolutely true. I take responsibility for the treat syndrome. I give into treats at every opportunity. My fault. No one else’s.

  92. I really enjoyed this article, I sometimes need to reminder of how lucky I really am and that the “problems” I face are so truly minor.

    One thing that stood out to me is when you talked about people who say “halfway there!” Or “three more weeks!” in regard to a diet or fitness routine. I understand the point you are making about how your mindset needs to be for a lifelong change and going in for the short term will lead to failure however I know when I first got started on a healthier way of life it was so helpful for me to say “ok, I’m going to do a whole 30 because I can do anything for 30 days” and then I had to keep telling myself for the first week or two “only X more days”. After two weeks I felt so much better, stronger, more energized, no more upset stomach and I was ready to make it a “Whole Lifetime” change. But I wasn’t mentally tough enough to jump right to that, I had to ease myself into it and let my body convince my mind that it was better to feel better!

    Anyway, just thought I’d throw that in.

    Thanks for the great article!

  93. Thank you for this article. It’s the unvarnished truth and I’m sure will resonate to many people on many levels. Your words are refreshing in a society that needs labels and excuses. Keep doing what you’re doing and best of luck.

  94. I don’t always comment on blog articles, but when I do it was a damn good read. It would be interesting to hear some examples / case studies both for success and failure.

  95. I laid in bed reading this last night and laughed. My husband asked why and I said because you could have written every single word of this. So I read this out loud. I can sympathize with your wife because my husband is “brutally honest.” And just recently we started a way of eating (we typically eat healthy) to kickstart our metabolism and he said this is for 8 weeks (no sugar, no alcohol, extremely low fat food – i.e. no fun) In a sense, this is sacrafice. We both work out and are active – we just have some fluff that needs to be redirected to muscle. He typically does this every few years and drops the fat fast and turns it to muscle. He maintains through being active and eating healthy with a “treat” every now and then. He has convinced me to do this since “my ways” haven’t worked. I recently fell off the wagon (4 weeks into this) with my splurge day after snowboarding and he ragged me hard about it after I blamed my friend for convincing me to go eat Mexican food….you see where this is going and why I had to laugh at your blog. He said to me “this is why I am 10 pounds down and leaner and you are still soft and spongy. You will just keep getting fatter while I get lean. ” He then said I will have to start my 8 weeks over because I just screwed up the “kickstarting of my metabolism.” Anyway, I appreciated this article as it gives another opinion and my husband certainly got his “I told you so.”

  96. I do like the honesty of the article. However, I just want to say that I’m 5’2. I weigh 106.2 lbs. I lift stuff, I do the cardio, and I eat a “treat” everyday. I don’t do things to punish my body in hopes of achieving an unrealistic body type, created by mainstream media. I have a very realistic approach to my fitness and what I find to be important, for me. I know so many females who are better athletes than me, and who weigh, and physically “look” heavier than I do. I guess I’m just sharing because I think one thing I wanted to add is to be realistic about your goals. I have a long torso and short legs. I will never be taller, and unfortunately I will never “look lean” in photos the way models do. Even fitness models. I’ve had children, bear stretch marks, and have diastisis recti. So in an effort to be brutally honest…I wanted to add that we should stop comparing our bodies to other bodies. All fucking bodies are good bodies. First and foremost, learn to love yourself at ANY size before trying to change it’s aesthetics. And don’t buy into the dieting dogma. It’s the sane shit, repackaged, to SELL whatever. That’s all.

  97. Thanks Taylor. Your post was actually kind of a breath of fresh air. I shared it with my students, mostly because I just can not quite come off the way you can, (that is actually a compliment), Sometimes it is good for people to hear the same thing in different language!

  98. Absolutely fantastic. Thank you! Me offended by someone getting in my face? Fuck that. We need more honesty in this world. Keep bringing it, sir. You inspire this 47 yr old tub to get her fat ass on the path to a healthier lifestyle.

  99. I love you. No BS approach. I have learnt so much from this blog. Fantastic!
    I’m in the UK and we’re all a bit soft over her. . I will definitely be re-reading and taking on board. .. so makes sense!
    Thank you!

  100. Love this! Every word is true!
    I’m a part of a few fitness groups and currently doing a 12 week challenge. I am the only person who doesn’t have an end goal of being X kgs in X weeks! I just want to be healthy- whatever clothing size that is.

  101. Good comments. Question for you though. I used to go to the gym twice a day and be in fantastic shape over ten years ago. Then I had gallbladder surgery and suffered from debilitating abdominal nerve damage. Even walking would set off the pain and had to take pain mess. 10 years later I finally had surgery that fixed it and 1 month later I am back working out. I now weigh 190 and am 5’8. I used to way 145. I work out a minimum of 1/2 hour doing low impact aerobics (no weights allowed yet) and walk a min of half hour a day. I do stairs 6 times up and down every 2 hours (I work a desk job) and I cut my calories to 1500 a day and always come in under. I lost 3 pounds since I started right before Christmas. I am not a snacker and don’t like sweets. Am I on the right track? I am thrilled to be active again and can’t wait to be moving. I wake up everyday dancing and at night dance too! So happy to be pain free but really committed to losing the weight.

  102. So Swearing = Brutal Truth?

    Although I completely agree with taking responsibility for oneself, (which is the entire point that I got from your list), I don’t think it is necessary to spew “shit”, “fuck” or “fucking” for added emphasis. What feces and sex have to do with one’s attitude or success in losing weight, I’ll never know.

    This is what some of your audience is responding to, IMHO.

    To me, it seems your goal is reach people and make a difference because you care about the human condition and/or want to educate the masses about their… masses.

    Here’s another “brutal truth”. Using foul language can isolate some people, turn them off, and even weaken the message instead of intensifying it. It doesn’t show strength, it shows the speaker/author has to resort to “Wal-Mart Words*” for lack of having anything else in their arsenal.

    I realize these words may be part of your individual voice, how you express yourself in real life etc. I also have an inkling that you probably don’t give a rip what I think as you’ve found success in your niche, as proven by the positive comments and satisfied clients you cited in your responses to those who contradicted your premises.

    What would be interesting is for you to rewrite this text of yours, eliminating “shit” (that was a pun), “fuck” and so on. Maybe in one version put just one whopper in at that very end; in another, keep it clean. I believe it would be even more broadly, and better, received.

    Thanks for reading my comment, JSH

    *Zach Holman coined this phrase – love it

  103. Great article despite the vulgar hyperbolic language. Just one thought, this guy needs to take his own advice, vulgar language is a personal choice, the same message could have been achieved without resorting to base level language, it just takes “self control” coach.

  104. I have never read your blogs before but a friend posted it on facebook so thought I would read it. YOU made me think. Thank you for being brutally honest. We need more people like you to tell people like me to get up from our computers and get exercising. Which I will do after posting this. Thanks for your words…they hit home. I am going to save what you wrote and read it often to keep me going.

  105. Thank you! How have we become a society of blame? Few people take responsibility for their actions any more, and this needed to be said. You sir, are NOT an asshole! You’re just honest and care enough to tell the truth.

  106. I gotta say I am a say it like it is person also, at work they call me the “pitbull” sadly! But this is me, and I agree I will NOT change that, I like that about myself! This article was awesome! Loved it! I am wondering of you have a book that you have written, or an ebook, or if not, one you can recommend- similar to the approach in this article. TIA, 🙂


  107. love this!! You are brutally honest and to the point. The only way to get results is to get off your ass and take responsibility for yourself and your actions. People need to hear this and do a little soul searching to see the truth about their lives and how they got to the place they’re at and how to get to place they want to be! Hard work, dedication and real change is the only way to get real results. Keep the truth coming!

  108. This is so great! I too am an ass hole – I am blunt and call it for what it is. I am sharing this and keeping it handy to hand out. Work ethic and discipline. As a bodybuilder I take pride in being a 1% er – I live and breathe what I preach. I tell my clients that choosing to compete is just that a choice – if you want to be successful then working out and eating clean is a natural part of the program.

  109. Great stuff – I have watched this for so long I hesitate to give advice to some people, it seems such a waste of time. Living a healthy life style is not a temporary project it becomes your life and that goes for diet too – Thanks to you for putting this out there, people aren’t helped by sugar coating the reality of their situation and the work they need to do

  110. On point. Been preaching the same thing for 15 years. Nothing has changed. Sick of the bullshit and people buying into the repackaged goods and ‘false’ science. Wake up people!

  111. I agree with most except the “3 more weeks!” But then, you did point out meeting goals is important.

    To me, getting to the end of a program is an exercise in self – discipline and making it 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 1 month is a benchmark of “hey, I did it! Let’s re-evaluate and set the next one!” I’m a poor runner and I run to light poles. “I’m almost there” is motivation to keep huffing and puffing, have a mental celebration, and shift my gaze to the next pole.

    I would also add “no one cares if you lie on a food diary. The only one you cheat is yourself.” I’ve struggled with this the most and it took the most re – thinking to get around it.

    It’s taken me 5 years to shift my thinking enough to finally see weight loss with a healthy, controlled diet. I’ve struggled with all of this, from “I’ll start on monday” to “I don’t want to give that up.” I’m currently side-lined, but I’m excited to get going again.

    Other than that, good post.

  112. Ok, loved it. Now help me with the “what to eat”. Sure I can cut out sugar, carbs….. There is so much out there that I am confused about where I need to start. Working out is NOT my issue. I don’t want to do a fad diet. All the food crap frustrates me.

  113. Thank you for writing this. I dropped my own shitty fucking attitude a while back and lost 90 pounds once I lost all my excuses. It’s amazing what some good old fashioned hard work and discipline can do for a body. I hope others see this and take it to heart.

  114. I’ve said all you have to people (on blogs) and I have been called “mean, a bully, angry, etc. etc.”- again it’s all about ME calling people on their Sh*! and it’s my fault. Of EFFING course! Which is why I could never be coach. Which is why I was almost kicked off a triathlon team last year. It’s gotta be “all supportive and unicorns and butterflies”- but I will NOT congratulate someone on a bad race they didn’t train for because of “xyz” reasons. You either do, and do well, or you don’t. If you are using training for triathlons as a way to lose weight (and it hasn’t happened because you are really using the distance training to eat all the crap that you think you can) then I won’t support you, coddle you or say “it’s ok you are awesome anyway.”. You are NOT! Lose the weight, then do the best you can with what you have been given genetically. I think I love you and your philosophy as it’s really my own! Thanks!

  115. Where are you and how do I sign up? Sorry if that was in the previous comments and I missed it but I don’t have time to read them before my physio assessment. Thanks again for sharing this.

  116. WILL YOU PLEASE RUN FOR PRESIDENT? I will vote for you and we need a tough coach like you to lead this country again!

  117. Thanks for this, no one ever tells it like it is. About 5 months ago I made the decision to stop eating take out and restaurant food every night and start cooking real, actual food I make myself with real actual fresh ingredients (veggies, fruits, and meat – mostly chicken). Plus, I keep track of every thing I eat and try to keep my daily calorie intake below 1300 calories. Combine that with all the stairs I’ve been walking at school and I can now take flights of stairs without getting winded. I’m down 20lbs. Now it may not seem like much but this one small change has helped me take 5 inches off my middle and it’s staying off. Learning to make my own delicious meals and change my late night snacks from chips to raspberries has made me realize “dammit, I like raspberries” and I actually look forward to eating them when I buy them. Sometimes you need to make major changes to your life in order to make a difference but you’re less likely to keep them up; but one small change can make a huge difference.

  118. Sonetimes I find that Honesty w/o compassion is simply cruelty, butin this case, you really hit the nail on the head! i appreciate you putting the truth out there.. some ppl just need that kind of wake up call.. and the profanity just helps to emphasize your point!.. we are all adults here, no need to be so sensitive about a ttle F*ck and S*it ppl.. your last point (#6) gave me goosebumps and is so fricken true!.. thanks for the dose of perspective!

  119. I am a 6ft 330lb man. I have been fat all my life and i’v heard all the bullshit that you’re talking about. I couldn’t agree more. Whether you’re talking about being fat, poor or any of the other things people complain about and unless you have ligament reasons to fail i.e. disease, accident, abuse, war ex. There is one reason and one reason only. Laziness period.

  120. I am 3 weeks in to a 6 week weight loss challenge. I started going to the classes a month before the challenge so I have been doing a cross-fit type workout for 7 weeks. 4-5 days a week and most often it has been 5 days a week. I haven’t lost a pound. BUT, my body shape has changed, I have more energy, I’m stronger, I’m able to do more and more of the workouts without stopping, and I love the workouts. I’ve never been able to say I love a workout. One of the conclusions I have come to is I have made some big strides in my nutrition but clearly not enough yet. (alcohol is likely the first area in need of more improvement.) Anyway, I was initially really discouraged about the lack of weight loss. However, I’m really trying hard to recondition my mind that health isn’t automatically about weight. The moment I allow myself to become too frustrated about my weight then I will quit going to my workouts. It’s a pattern. A life-long pattern. It takes daily mental work to focus myself on my overall health instead of what the scale reads. For me, if I continue to do this workout 4 days a week long-term and never lose a single pound, I have to be okay with that. Because my mind needs to be focused on a life-long change for better overall health first. I enjoyed the read and appreciate your frankness. I guess I just needed to put my thoughts on your page. Feels good to write about the work I’m doing on myself.

    1. Congratulations on the shape change, strength increase!! When I was 19, I weighed a LOT, sank in water, had to get a waiver to join the Navy….. but my body shape was solid, dense, lots of muscle and bone. It was pretty darn attractive and healthy for me! May it be so for you as well.

  121. What you say is completely true! Besides being into weightlifting and fitness, I am a teacher. I get so tired of excuses from students, so I love this “Just Do It ” mentality, as I call it. I wish you were my coach!

  122. I completely agree with what you said! Take responsibility for your actions!
    On another note–do you offer online training??

  123. Well said! As someone who spends lots of time organizing and re-organizing my schedule so I can squeeze a run or yoga or strength workout in, I get so mad when I hear lazy people complain or tell me I am “obsessed” because I sometime get up at 4 to work out or do a core workout at lunch on the floor of my office (door closed and locked of course). Your article is awesome and really made me feel good about myself and my choices.

  124. I don’t think you sound like a jerk at all. It’s absolutely true. I have found that I can only make real change when I take full responsibility for my actions. I am free to make unhealthy choices at times (and I DO), but I don’t claim that it happened because of some outside force that I couldn’t help. Taking responsibility also allows us to really ENJOY the occasional splurges without feeling guilty. It means I can choose to have a giant piece of chocolate cake. Nobody made me do it. And I can easily choose to abstain from the chocolate cake. It’s really all my decision. I also choose to stick to my training physical training plan because I have a lot to benefit from it–not because somebody else said that I “should”. I know a lot of people who claim that they do not have time to exercise. I also know people who work 100-hour work weeks, have children, and find the time to exercise every day. It’s all about priorities and being honest with yourself.

  125. I don’t think you’re an asshole, I think you’re right on…now I just need to quit being a lazy fucker and take these to heart.

  126. THANK YOU for being you!!! Great and amazing words of wisdom. I am a 53 year old female, co-owner of Natural Strength CrossFit in Kamloops, BC, Canada and a 3 time “masters CrossFit Reebok Games Athlete” who prior to finding CrossFit with my partner taught aerobics and step classes for 25+ years! I am totally on board with everything you have said and I too want to slap people when they start the blame game. Be responsible and honest with yourself and that’s when you will see results.

  127. Coach,
    This is a great blog. Accurate on all accounts except for one in my opinion; life IS fair. The simple fact that life happens on its own terms is the definition of fair. The fact that life’s inequality is naturally random from the start and affected by individual choices ultimately means life is inherently fair. It is not unfair that one baby is born into a life with material wealth or abundant opportunity just as it is not unfair that another baby is born with AIDS and a life of unthinkable poverty. All lives are lived by individuals pure, simple and fair. How those individuals choose to live and accept life is what matters most. Those individuals that suffer from injury or disease have the power to determine how they live and accept the rest of their lives no matter how impossible or harsh that decision and life may be. There is no “right” or “wrong” answer when it comes to someone’s individual life decisions. As you stated, “It is because your attitude will determine your success.” Your decisions are based on your attitude and success can an infinite amount of definitions. Your life. Your choices. Your responsibility. So to anyone that says life is not fair, I disagree. The mere fact that all lives are different by nature defines that life is fair. It is up to the individual to embrace it or place blame elsewhere and call life unfair.

  128. Saying “You Have a Shitty Fucking Attitude” makes you sound like a dirtbag. Even keeping it real is nuanced. You have a bad fucking attitude is maybe better but you have a bad attitude is best of the three and very high impact.

    Not everyone is going to sign up for a lifetime membership at your gym (though that would be great for you I suppose). Dont get to hung up on that. It sounds self serving at best.

    Otherwise fine. You sound very intelligent and your writing is quality but please lets not get too carried away making your red badge of courage profanity.

  129. Its pleasing to see that most of the comments are in support of the blog rather than criticizing. I enjoyed the article, its brutal but fair. An assehole wouldnt bother saying these things. Only someone who cares would go to the trouble. But i do think there’s a seventh reason and that is in the frailty of our human emotions. Do we feel we deserve the end point we’re all dreaming of? If not then we allow those other things to perpetuate.

  130. Excellent article, one which applies to all change, not just weight loss. Until a person takes ownership of a problem, they can’t fix it.

    Personally, my weight loss program was a matter of returning to bicycle commuting, burning 30-50 calories per mile for 100 miles / week. I now weigh what I did when I graduated from high school back in 1980, my resting pulse is in the 40’s, and my blood pressure is 90/55. I’m happy and healthy.

  131. I take this approach with my kids because I want the best for them. Brilliant article! And yes, everything I already know, BUT am not doing! I’m saving this article and I’m going to read it every time I try and make some bogus excuse to fall off the wagon! I take ownership of my weight gain, but seem to gradually shift excuses to other factors time and time again. You are amazing! Keep it up, we need more brutal honesty in this world. I’m going to use your words to kick my butt into gear, stay strong when I have events, and whenever I even start to think up lame excuses in my head. Thanks, I needed this!!! And I’m going to return to this article for as long as it takes to reprogram my mind.

  132. Sometimes the truth hurts when we’re making our excuses. Been there and done that as they say. I yo yo dieted for about 40 years until I finally grasped the idea that this was something I needed to do for the rest of my life. I’ve been at goal weight and exercising since 2002. In order to do that I really did have to change my attitude.

    Thanks for a great article!

  133. I agree with everything you said. As someone who has spent the better half of 20 years trying to lose weight, it wasn’t until I realized that I am responsible for my own actions, that I started losing weight.

    For people who have underlying medical conditions, I call bullshit. Again, it comes down to attitude. I have friends with multiple medical conditions that would be enough to make them sit on the couch all day and sleep. My brother for one, has bipolar depression, and a few other mental health conditions. You know what? He feels his best when he gets his ass off the couch and goes to the gym. He also doesn’t have as sever mood swings when he eats healthier. SO AGAIN, it comes down to choices. You can choose to make excuses about why you can’t do something, or you can make a choice to find a way to do it.

  134. I have often said you can’t be honest AND nice. Thank-you for writing this article. The only people who could be offended by this are those who blame the cake at work. This is the best article I have ever read about weight-loss success/failure. The truth is rarely nice. I thank-you for putting it into black and white.

  135. I’m one of those with no hope to make it better; I have been blessed with multiple sclerosis. Imagine the incredulity of people when I show them the photo of me winning a powerlifting contest with a deadlift of 245 pounds. I might not be able to make this disease better, I might not be able to overcome the gradual debility, but I CAN take what I’ve got and work with it. There are days I cannot walk well. But if I don’t use to my benefit the days in which I am able to walk relatively well, whose fault is that when I don’t remain strong? Your #6 is so dead on.

  136. I understand your comments- and agree to a degree but, I do think that many individuals suffer from a variety of diseases that effect the above mentioned, so of course as with anything it is not cut and dry. A good example would be PCOS (apprx 1 in 10 women suffer from and PCOS has a strong correlation to Hashimoto disease which is a thyroid disorder) is actually the #1 reason women gain weight in their twenties. These types of things can be managed however, by the time of diagnosis the afore mentioned person could have put on a lot of weight which would be packed with the hormone testosterone, so it becomes a dirty little cycle, of losing/gaining weight, insulin resistance, cravings due to hormones. I agree with a need of an attitude shift, I think as with anything this certainly glosses over a lot issues that can effect the outcome… I think a good attitude is an amazing thing though, it can certainly change the way people approach a situation.
    Well you certainly got everyone talking, which I am sure this is all about.

  137. I read your blog that was shared by a friend of mine on FB and all I can say is THANK YOU! I am so confused why so many people blame others for the food they put in their mouths and then wonder why they are over weight?? I am no better than any one else…I fail at times and eat crap, but I definitely don’t blame the drup reps who bring the crap into our office or my friends that cook nothing but sugar. I make the choice to eat healthy or eat bad. Any way…this isn’t anything you haven’t already heard or know…I just want to say THANK YOU for the blog and speaking nothing but the truth!

  138. Totally agree for the vast majority of the population (those with medical/genetic conditions excepted). Sadly, we are a society of instant gratification in all aspects of our lives. People appear to have lost the art of patience and self control.

  139. Common sense, blame myself, common sense, blame myself rinse cycle repeat. Same as every single other weight loss guide except with cussing whooooooo eminem’s a weight trainer now!!!

  140. I see absolutely no brutal statements from you, all completely true! I agree 100% and this gave me renewed motivation to lead a healthier life. Thank you!

  141. As a formerly quite overweight teenager, I’ve kept the weight off for 30 years now because I’ve been brutally honest with myself in the same vein as that which you’ve written in your article. I used to personal train (former SKESA and CSEP member), but I left the profession because the spectacular 3% of people that took responsibility for the their fitness, blew my mind and inspired me to bits was no longer enough to make up for the 97% of my clients who wanted to “lose 40 pounds in 2 months and not sweat or sacrifice to do it.” Brutally honest would have been nice, but it wouldn’t “sell” enough for me to make a living.

  142. I agree with most of what Taylor has said. However, I am experiencing something that I haven’t had to deal with before. I have chronic kidney disease, stage 4. Three years ago, I could watch what I eat and exercise and get good results. Now, due to the severe anemia caused by the disease, I become breathless with very little exertion. Worse, my body is clinging to water as a way to dilute the toxins that my kidneys are no longer getting rid of. My creatnine level soars. I am watching my diet, particularly salt, but I don’t feel as in control as before. So many things to overcome. For example, even though I’m taking 40 mg of lasiks twice a day, my doc wants my to take sodium bicarbonate tablets because the toxins have left me with an “acidy” body. While neutralizing the toxins, the sodium bicarbonate causes me to hold even more water! I walk about 13,050 steps a day at my job as a teacher. No matter what I do, it seems my weight stays pretty much the same.

    1. It sounds as if you have really a lot to deal with. You can only work with what you have…..I hope you find stuff that works for you, and you don’t give in to hopelessness, due to folks that judge you, instead of having a good idea of what walking in your shoes would be like.
      Keep up the work you can keep up, and take the best care of yourself you are able.

  143. I got 8 sentences in and had to stop because he felt the need to liken himself one of the best movie directors of all time and then tell us about how he has published in scientific journals and magazines. None of which has any relevance to the subject matter. I’ll pass on hearing this infinite wisdom, but congrats to this guy on his many publications, of which he is clearly very proud.

  144. Loved the article. I am an ironman athlete and am fortunate to love exercise and easily maintain a healthy lifestyle, weight is not my issue. When I was reading your article, what resonated with me is that I realized I struggle with balancing my life. I often complain about being a mom of two young kids, work full time at a demanding job, maintain 1 hr a day for fitness and seem to have zero time for myself. Key take away – life isn’t suppose to be easy and my attitude, which I control, can change my outlook. How fortunate I am to have a beautiful family, a good job that I enjoy and am able to make time for my sport. Thanks for that!

  145. Wax on, wax off Mr Miyagi…….I’m your grasshopper…….there’s an “ass” in there, we already have something in common. Facticity is refreshing.

  146. I feel people of all shapes and sizes can be beautiful as long as thier intentions are good. For me a diet that works is low carb high protien however it’s not sustainable for a long time, anybody following a similar ragime may have some tips?

    1. I know folks who get benefits from low carb / high fiber. You might look into it, see if that works for you. It’s easier and safer to maintain than anything that’s really high protein ( among other things, high protein is tough on the kidneys, I think, long term).

      Of course, low carb/high fiber does not stop you from doing high protein also, if you want to.

  147. Love this blog post, I lost over 60 pounds a couple years ago, it’s still lost, I don’t plan on going to look for it either, ha ha. And I subscribe to all of these points, all true, thanks for putting the truth out there.

  148. Good words and advice. However, your overly preachy style is condescending and unnecessary. It’s as if you assume your readers are all excuse-making, responsibly-shirking nincompoops. Way to spend half the column talking about yourself, and how honest and straightforward you are. I just love tactless people who justify their tactless behavior by saying “hey I tell it like it is!” Laughable. Ruins an otherwise good message.

  149. most of this I agree with…..but I did lose 175 pounds (granted, I have only been maintaining for a year thus far) all while eating epic amounts of ice cream almost daily and the battery of tests I’ve been required to get in order to hand a kidney over to my dad (the reason for needing to lose the pounds in the first place) show me to be in top condition and health. Of course, i suppose the daily litre of cappuccino frozen yogurt may be slightly offset by also running the equivalent of a half marathon every day also…..

    1. I hope you and your dad live long and prosper with your kidneys….take good care of yourselves. I’m so glad what you did worked for you.

      Goodness knows, some folks have health, strength, normal body weight….and without special dieting or working out.

  150. thank you for this! This is exactly what I needed to hear, not just for my fitness goals but for my life, especially the last part. I have been sitting around feeling sorry for myself, when in reality my life is great! Time for me to get over it! Thank you thank you thank you. Amazing post!

  151. Just started a weight loss program and have already have had 2 storm day excuses for not eating healthy. I have made excuses all my life and am very tired of this. I don’t know what made your blog come to me today, but it did and I really appreciate what you have to say. Yes.. I am responsible for me and my actions (have preached this to other people) but now it is time for me to put action to the words… no more just thinking about it. I need to get my brain healthy… one choice at a time. Thanks for putting yourself out there. Now it is my turn….
    PS: First time replying to anything… please post more….

  152. I totally agree. Someone once tried to blame my weight on diabetes, a gland issue, not enough protein, a thyroid problem, and a huge list. I answered by saying, “actually I just eat more than I expend.” The “diet mentality” is so pervassive in our society, staying on track and following what is factually proven, can be hard. I think it is the biggest reason so many oeople fail and gain it back. It takes years to establish weight loss and health. I took 2.5 years to loose 45 pounds and it has stayed off. I did weight watcher’s whose first premise is to take responsibility for what goes in; and then begin to make better choices. They eat all food groups and talk about moving. Constantly. There is no magic tea, and noone is responsible for my life and health, other than myself. I bring vegetables to every get together so that I KNOW there will be something for me to eat. Nothing has empowered me more. I will say this however: people who use self compassion as a means to personal responsibility have been proven to reach their goals in weight loss, because self compassion is the birth place of honesty and accountability. There is a lot of research coming from Stanford, Birkley, Columbia….it’s fascinating stuff.

  153. “95% of your diet has to be perfectly healthy. ” TRUTH
    LOVE what you said about treats. There is a huge spread of bagels, cream cheese, and donuts in my office every Friday morning. I walk by them to put my lunch in the fridge every Friday and I remind myself that donuts and bagels and cream cheese aren’t something I want to eat every week. The end.
    And in case it helps anyone, I have what I think of as a “zero tolerance policy” for daily treats at work. That’s the only way I can hold the line. I do not eat treats brought in by others at work on regular days. The ONLY time I make an exception is if something is homemade and it is a specific major holiday (not birthdays). Then I make an exception to enjoy what is actually a TREAT. All other times I think to myself, “Zero Tolerance Policy,” and I say, “No, thank you.” I’ve learned over the years that this policy makes the rare treat truly enjoyable, too.

  154. I am thrilled with all of your posts! Way to go! and I feel because you are a guy you can get away with it! I’ve said this same stuff at work and I was told that I needed to have more empathy towards overweight people. And listen more to their struggle!!! AHGG I’ve been in the fitness business for over 35 years and it’s ALL the same like you said! Keep up the great work man and keep speaking out! You’ve got a great support base! And everything you said is so absolutely true it’s ridiculous! p.s. the big thing now with trainers and clients is the selling of products! it makes me sooooo mad! Do the work people and eat good foods most of the time! Quit going for the quick fix!!!! AHHHHH! I’m in the business too to help people and I’ve helped a ton and missed a couple:) Wishing you the best, Karen

  155. To anyone that is getting all crazy about the science, the victimization of fat people, and these arguments being the excuse for their obesity we get it, the author gets it. His point is still valid. All the science proves is that some foods don’t make you fat as quick, and those with genetic issues or life challenges (including the psych issues) need more than just a gym to get the help they need to be healthy. Blunt truth – the Author has a very valid point when he said obesity comes down to life decisions, and willingness to accept responsibility for your disease.

    Being overweight is part of the issue, and while being fat is considered a disease, the actions one takes to get rid of that disease are the bottom line. If one has Cancer they make decisions quickly to make life changes, but being overweight meh – it’s the genetics, it’s not the food, it’s okay to eat processed sugars like high fructose syrup, etc etc etc. Really it’s not okay and it comes down to you as a person taking responsibility for the disease and healing the body through exercise and healthy diet.

    I fall off the wagon and my pants get tighter, I get tired, workouts start to fall to the side, I have a million excuses why I don’t want to workout or practice something. Sometimes, because I am an amputee it’s based in fear – “I can’t do the pull-ups today, that bars too high, I can’t make the jump I will fall, and bust my ass – my issue my psychology. I force myself to recognize the triggers accept the responsibility and reevaluate is this reasonable fear? No – get my butt up there and do the pull-ups. It hurts to run and jump – so instead I walk five miles – It gets done, I find a way and make it happen, ultimately I (me) am the bottom line regardless of my Native genetics, my amputation, nerve issues etc.

    There will always be those out there saying nah science doesn’t show high fructose leads to obesity. Look at America then what is it that does? By far we are a country of self-pitting (not sure if that’s a word) whiners who will create and cite a study to prove why it’s not our (your fault). Yet as you sit there eating your Big Mac watching the other obese fellows doing the same you don’t see the obvious in front of your face.

    Look I am far from fit but I don’t make excuses – I do it or I don’t my genetics, the foods I CHOOSE to eat, and my injuries all just make it so I have to be smarter, work harder, and seek more help than just a PT. It includes me sitting down with my wife making a foods list (my responsibility), me making dinners at home more often than eating out (my responsibility) working with my doctors (my responsibility and acceptance of my diseases and injuries) and working with my Paychiatrist to face all my mental health crap (MY RESPONSIBILTY) and then getting up and moving in some manner to help my heart and body (MY JOB, MY BODY, and MY RESPONSIBILITY).

    Below is a piece I wrote that I read often to remind myself it’s MY RESPONSIBILTY:

    And when people ask me why do you keep showing up to Crossfit, why are you doing kickboxing still at 44 with only one leg, and when they say stop the jiujitsu training your going in for back surgery … I smile knowing that I have served along side heroes who have lost more, so that I can turn to those people and say, “not today, I’ll see you at class or on the mat”. Because those fallen heroes have given me the opportunity to live the best life I can live. Yep, not today … today is not a day for excuses. This is my Never Give Up Life (NGU Life) and I am going down fighting.

    Coach C, (Philip C, BSN-RN).

  156. Great article…..applies to life in general. Particularly for me because I hate the bitching and excuses I hear about everything everyday.

  157. I love this article, I wish there wasn’t so many swearwords as I’m not completely past caring about what others think and would share it.. nonetheless I really appreciate your bluntness and honesty as every one is absolutely true!

    I think this illustrates what a lot of personal trainers are frustrated about but don’t have the balls to say so bluntly haha!

    My Reiki practitioner sent this to me and I’m glad I took the time to read it. Thank you for speaking the truth:)


    1. Interesting article…and blog …. however….what purpose does using the F word have here…..seriously….you can give the truth a punch without it…..

  158. Thanks for the reality check. You successfully made me feel like a complete moron because I am definitely guilty of all of those excuses and more. My husband is awesome at meeting his goals and has sat back and watched me for 6 plus years make excuses and feel sorry for myself for my present condition. He deserves a reward for his patience! After reading this I am convinced he is a saint. You really made me realize what a fool I’ve been. 1st step starting today – taking responsibility for my choices. 2nd step also starting today – make better choices with my eating and no more skipping workouts! I am going to do this, it wont be easy but I know that I can. Just one good choice at a time.

    1. Best wishes to you. Taking responsibility, seeing what you can really do with what you have, investing in yourself… what a gift to give your future self! It’s an expensive gift.. but you have that saint husband to look and and recommit to deciding it’s a gift to yourself that is worth it.

  159. A FB friend shared this and it was absolutely what I needed to read. I am brutally honest with others about most everything, so I appreciate your approach. I read it as I devoured the last of my leftover SuperBowl cookies….and literally stopped to look at my choice, my decision. I am my own worst enemy and I know it….but I vowed to myself yesterday (on my 48th bday) to make some changes and live healthier so that I can enjoy another 48. Yet, here I sat, chomping on my cookies! I’m not going to beat myself up for it, but I accept it was my choice (and YUMMY!!), and I think that’s a good start. I’m printing this out to keep on my desk, because I need to remind myself over and over again to hold myself accountable. THANK YOU for your boldness, and no-bullshit approach. I absolutely needed to see this today!!

  160. Well, I’m 6’2, 260lbs. I talk about losing weight, I look in the mirror and get depressed. But end of the day, I love food and TV more than I hate my body. Until I change my habits, it’s all just talk. Blog is right, there is nothing preventing my being healthy and in shape except for me.

  161. I mostly agree, except with #4. People at your fitness club are asking about the contract because they’re tired of getting ripped off by clubs that sell contracts with no out clause. People’s lives change, they move, and maybe they just decide they don’t like your club. After once getting stuck paying for a year of a contract at a club that was no longer on the way to work for me, I’ll never sign one again without asking about that first. In fact, if your contract isn’t month-to-month, it’s written for your benefit, not your customer’s.

  162. Great post. The thing I don’t understand is that everyone is saying “it’s the brutal truth.” I don’t think it’s extremely brutal. It’s hard, but not brutal. Great advice nonetheless.

  163. I am 70 years of age and when people ask me how I keep my normal slim shape, I just say that I control what I eat, which is true. However, they just look at me and laugh, then say,
    ‘come off it, it must be in your genes’ or some secret diet. Strange isn’t it, that one is almost called a liar when the easiest weight control method of all time is, quite simply, self control.

  164. Well said! This is so true!

    I am no angel and can fall into the traps of laziness, too many ‘treats’ and excuse making but I you are so right that attitude is everything – in all life matters. Plan to fail – you will. Believe you cant make it – you wont.

    Work and work hard, plan to suceed and believe you can suceed in some way and you can make it happen!

  165. I just stumbled on this, and could not be happier. Thank you SO much. I’ve adopted a healthy lifestyle for good, and am lucky to have found a gym with trainers who have very genuinely changed my life, but even though I’ve accepted that this is forever, I am terrible about putting a deadline on everything. I lose weight through diet and exercise (and proper sleep), and then inevitably “take a break” before really struggling to get back on the horse again. Two steps forward, one step back, and that’s not a good long-term solution. Thanks for the reality check here – much appreciated.

  166. Wow! Thanks so much for your brutal honesty! I got asked from a five year old if I was having a baby. I replied no just ate too many xmas pies. Was just the kick up the ass I needed to begin to lose my excess 70lb of weight. Your blog has given me further clarity!

  167. Tell me why my skinny husband can eat two reeses and drink 10 Mountain Dew cans a day and I get fat just by looking at a coke.
    Tell me why I am the second lowest dress size in Lane Bryant but I am unable to purchase a bra there because their bra sizes are too small for me. Breast tissue is made of fat. Tell me why I have to work harder in order to be skinny just looking at my husband who doesn’t have to do shit in order to stay slim. My husband has a physical job but I have a physical job too. I am a merchandiser. That is what I do.
    I understand what you are trying to say with your blog but seriously you forgot one thing and that is Genetics. I don’t mind working out and reducing my weight. It’s fun! But simply just blaming the fat women just doesn’t give a complete picture. Some of us have to work out harder in order to look like some of those who don’t work out and who of Soda, Cake and Cookie. My mother in law is a beautiful woman in her 60ties. She eats a lot but she is and will be always skinny. If I ate how much she does I would be fat…

    1. Get your hormones checked. Stat. My sister and I lived in the same household, eating the same foods all our lives. Actually, thats incorrect. She spent many years dieting, trying to exercise, joining weight loss groups to no avail.

      I could eat treats sometimes while she couldnt look at carbs without gaining. We went to the gym together lots. She worked her ass off. What were the results? She went up to 265 lbs and I ended up placing as a figure competitor…

      Wasnt until she saw an endocrinologist and was tested for everything that they realized she was borderline type 2 diabetic due to insulin resistance, not high blood sugar. Her thyroid was shot, free estrogen too high, free testosterone too high… among other things. First drug they’ve put her on in September to now, 50 lbs fell off her without changing her lifestyle. I am a certified personal trainer, im all for motivating people anf taking accountibility of your actions. Sometimes it is beyond your control. The only way you figure it out though is by proving you are accountable for your actions. She needed her workout journal and her food journal complete with heart rate logs to get the attention she needed from the doctors. Life isnt fair unfortunately, some of us do have to work harder for our results but that doesn’t mean its hopeless or you should give up.

      I wish you luck in your journey =)

  168. The second paragraph says ‘flashy new tittles’ instead of titles. And I read it as something else as my eyes scanned across it!

    Great post. Rings true. I’m five weeks in and acting like I can’t resist a snack. Jesus.

  169. A good read!

    i think blaming yourself or someone else fatness is only true when you make incorrect food choices when you are actually hungry.

    If you are not hungry but still want to eat something, whether its carrot or a carrot cake, you must be eating for another reason and until that reason is resolved you can never achieve your goal weight in the long-term. Some people will not have this issue as extensively as others.

    For years I have had difficulty getting close to my “ideal weight” because as I get closer I start to eat more and more “bad foods”. Why? Because deep down, I dont like the attention I get with a fit looking body. Maybe I think I dont deserve it (haven’t worked that out yet). At the least, it makes me anxious and so I sabotage myself and eat. This is just one example, but there are lots of reasons why I eat, but blaming my partner for bringing home pizza is much easier than telling people I have poor self image or I don’t think I’m worth more.

  170. Dear Coach Taylor,
    This is a very intense posting and
    I’m writing to beg you to rewrite it…

    Please reword the article such that fitness becomes finance, and diet becomes spending, and send a copy to every member of Congress.

    Sincerest thanks….

  171. I mostly agree with what you said. We definitely can’t blame others for gaining weight. After college I gained 40 pounds cause I was lazy and ate crappy food. I’m sure there are many factors that work into other peoples reasons. I use to say I couldn’t change my diet because I needed to feed my boyfriend and he didn’t need to lose weight so why should he have to eat all of the healthy food. I eventually got to a point where it didnt matter and if he didnt want to eat it then he could find something else.

    The one thing I greatly dislike about this article (and maybe I’m wrong) is that you seem to take all of the joy out of life. Is it not okay for someone to skip a day at the gym and spend time with family? Is it not okay to have some cookies or some wings here and there? I personally think it is. I’m 23 so I’m still young…I sometimes enjoy drinking large amounts of alcohol or eating large amounts of wings. This is not a daily or even weekly habit. It’s more like a couple times a month. But you make it sound like its not okay to indulge every now and then.

    My family always says things like “There are people who eat to live and then there are people who live to eat.”, I personally live to eat because I enjoy food. I’m not going to cut out everything I enjoy for the rest of my life just so I can be a size 0.

    And if this is not what you were saying at all…please nicely correct me. 🙂

  172. Yeah, I took a break from working out between the semesters and backslid all the way to where I was in August of last year. I am back on track but I need to get firm plans in place for summer break.

  173. I appreciate this brutal honesty. You can read tons of books and articles about specific diets, workouts, and mechanisms (fructose, glucose, and carbs, oh my!). But none of that matters without the right attitude. I struggle with my own, but keep striving to be look at my life as it is: I’m very lucky for all things you mentioned in this column. I think a lot of people get overwhelmed with the weight loss “debates” (which is better: cardio or weights? which is worse: fat or carbs? long jogs or HIIT?). There is a lot of material out there, and some nuggets of truth sauteed in a myriad of half-truths. I hope anyone struggling will really listen to this advice about attitude and JUST START SOMEWHERE. Don’t worry about the “perfect” diet. Make improvements. Eventually you can learn more about works best for you, but start.

  174. Coach Taylor,
    I am so glad you have a blog because after reading this I dumped my FB account, which is where I originally saw it, and got off my ass. This whole article was screaming out at ME. I needed to hear this exactly the way you wrote it. No coddling or sugarcoating. Thank you for being real and telling it like it is.

  175. GREAT and very truthful article! I wasn’t half way through it and had to share it with some of my fitness buddies. Thanks for this!

  176. We live in an instant gratification world and I have fallen victim to it for far too long. Thanks for the great advice.
    I needed a reality check. I’m cashing yours.

  177. I LOVE this blog post! Thank you so very much. I am a 42 year old wife, homeschooling mother of 7 and a professional Custom Cake Artist. For years I allowed my busy life and profession (and quite frankly my love of food as comfort) to take me down a path of weight gain. Not long ago I nearly lost my life during a miscarriage. While my weight did not contribute to that experience, It was non the less a wake up call for me. My husband and I embarked on a lifestyle change together, determined to be around as long as possible for our children. Clean, healthy eating and daily exercise of at least an hour. We are limited to an at home fitness program because of our family life but it has worked well for us. No more excuses (not even the 15 hour days my husband puts in with travel only to come home and NEVER miss his workout before bed). We are currently 5 weeks into a lifetime of change and feel fantastic! My husbands blood pressure is spot on perfect for the first time in a year, our clothes no longer fit (gotta love of a belt to avoid embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions in public lol) and the tape measure and scale are my new best friends….they say such nice things to me now 🙂 My profession is still a hazard, but lets face it….I don’t need to actually taste test anything. I know damn well and good what my cakes taste like and don’t need to “make sure”. I have not given into that temptation once since beginning. I used to read quotes about how “nothing tasted as good as thin feels” and sarcastically reply “obviously they’ve never had my cake”….but honestly, though I am not actually thin yet, I can honestly say that nothing tastes as good as my shrinking waste feels! Your blog post is further motivation, thank you 🙂

  178. LOVE THIS! This has got to be the best read in a long time. Motivational and totally inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Love your honesty, I’m an honest person and need a kick up the ass so to speak right back at me! I’ve shared with my friends and hope they love your blog as much as I have. Cheers mate!

  179. Thanks for the article, loved the honesty and found so much truth in it. My wife and I have been on a healthy lifestyle for over 2 years now, we have made it part of our daily life. Yes we have treats, but far a few in between our new regularly eating patterns. We are now both very active, working about about 4-5 times a week and I can tell your readers it isn’t a 5min fix it is a lifestyle fix you are either determined to look and feel great or you are a pretender, a person who wants all that but doesn’t want to do the hard yards. It simple doesn’t work. One must first change their lifestyle first and commit to that. Now into our 3rd year we are starting to see the results – Yes I said it, 3rd year, not 12 weeks, not 6 months, but into our 26 month program and the results are finally starting to show. It is bloody hard work and takes commitment, nothing more, nothing less. I hate 12 week programs, unless you are doing them as a challenge because it is part of your new lifestyle, 12 week programs here and there simply don’t work. Do not trust promotional video’s and people who make claims, all they want is your money, they already know you will fall off the wagon. So simply – change mind set, change lifestyle and be committed.

  180. I certainly agree with your take and I’m sure a lot of people need that strong wake-up call. On the other hand many obese people are obese because of some psychological trauma, many times they have been bullied or worse and your words would just drive them to their addiction in search of comfort. Yes, tell them how lucky they are to be able to make good choices, but acknowledge their pain and self-loathing without compounding it.

  181. Very good stuff, well said. I work out regularly, and am fit, and struggle with my own shit, occasionally getting off track. I love this post because I can relate – I know when it’s my own personal bullshit holding me down, which is in fact 100% of the time. Too bad most people that struggle don’t get this.

  182. For me, the journey to better health began when I identified a lot of these things in myself, and then figured out how to make them work FOR me instead of against me. Yeah, I’m impatient, I want results now, I like treats, I do think of diets as having deadlines and I’m fundamentally lazy.

    I COULD fight to change my personality at its roots, and rework my eating/exercise habits at the same time. But that’s not a battle I have had any success at winning. Believe me, long fight, no workie.

    So I said ok, I like end dates. How do I make that positive? I started with the Couch To 5k program. Then I picked another 6 week program for strength training. Then I did something else, etc. I found that this strategy had me excited to get to the end… to try something new… Not to quit exercising forever.

    For healthy eating, I found that what I really liked were the first two months of every diet. Redoing my pantry, learning recipies, tracking everything in MFP. But then I get bored and slip back into old habits. Treats become meals, become days. I figured that as long as I was eating at a calorie deficit, it didn’t really matter what “plan” I was doing… So I deliberately changed them every few months. Weight watchers to keto to PSMF etc.

    I’m still motivated by treats and rewards, I just reworked it so they were mostly non-food, and the few food ones were still somewhat healthy like really good expensive cheese. I can’t AFFORD to pig out on 25yo cheddar!

    Just one persons perspective, thought I’d share. Still a work in progress, but at least it’s positive progress now.

  183. A great deal of you people belong at Planet Fitness, where you can be rewarded weekly with cupcakes and pizza for all of your hard work, much like the “participant” trophies you used to get as a child.

    This blog is awesome, if you take it at face value. I’ve been around long enough to recognize the half ass people that this blog is aimed at. The ones that attend a gym, or “try” to eat clean. The very people that yo-yo their way through fitness ups and downs. They claim to be dieting and working out, but they just don’t get it and they never will. This blog is not targeting people with eating disorders. What trainer in their right mind would be so stupid as to do that?

  184. So, I was just about to go and get a chocolate bar from the vending machine at work, and then I was sent this article…..
    Guess what? I don’t want a chocolate bar anymore…… haha…. it worked!

  185. YEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!! I feel like an older gal at the church service… I just want to yell “PREACH IT”.

    My favorite part was actually defining “treat.” I am BEYOND tired of folks saying “oh i worked out today, so i treated myself to mcdonalds” I just want to slap the fuck out of them and reply with “well… now you need to work out every day for two weeks to work that off, dumbass.” People just do not get it, excuses excuses… You Taylor are the shit sir! Thank you so much for putting it out there!

  186. Brilliant blog post and came at a time when I really needed to hear it. Everything you said is spot on! Any chance you could put it into audio or video format? My guess is that it would reach a lot more people that way. (Though I admit my request is selfish. I’ve found that listening to messages that I want to have really sink in works best when I am able to replay them as often as needed. Hearing the words – and your passion behind them – plants the message in my brain more permanently than just reading the words.)

    Again – thank you. I’m getting off the computer now to do some housework and then I’m going for a hike!

  187. Coach Taylor is pretty much right on. It boils down to taking responsibility for yourself!
    I am no chemist, biologist, nutritionist or any of the sort. I was about 50 pounds overweight and 50 years old. I took responsibility for myself and decided that I wanted to loose the extra weight and live a healthier lifestyle. I did loose the weight and have kept it off. I exercise daily, eat healthy; I changed my lifestyle.
    What I found was that to loose the weight I had to consume fewer calories than I burnt each and every day. Eat more fruits and vegetables, lean meats and the rest in moderation. Most of the weight came off in 6 months! It was hard work and still is every day, but that is what it takes and I am good with that.

  188. So true. In my case, especially No. 4
    Diets would work for me only shortly because I had an expiry date in mind, I thought that “One day, I can eat whatever I want and still be thin.” But that’s never going to happen. By accepting that my diet basically will never end, I’m removing the end date and will be forced to stick with it.

  189. Honestly? Didn’t even think this was that brutal. It’s the truth, if it hurts then someone’s feeling guilty and most likely actually needs to hear it.
    Loved it 🙂

  190. Absolutely Perfect!!!
    “whether you think you can or you cannot, you are correct.” -Henry Ford
    What you said is truth, i hear it every day. I so want to tell them to suck it up, either you do the work and claim victory or you piss and moan and stay the same. It’s up to you. Either way, I can’t do it for you.
    If it doesn’t challenge you, It doesn’t change you!!! Hang that on your wall!

  191. Raw message. Nice.
    [But you can get the message across without profanity. Period.]

    ps. anyone see the parallel lesson yet to be applied to the entitlement system??

  192. 1st. Thank you for the truth and the reality check – I am very overweight and was off to a good start last year, averaging .5 lbs a week so going slow but feeling significantly better each month. I was down about 30 lbs right before Thanksgiving and then I got discouraged because I calculated how long it would take for me to lose what I wanted ( I have 130 lbs to go). People around me were telling me that it wasn’t coming off fast enough and I should consider things like surgery but that it was ok that i was big, some people just are, others were making me feel that my gym time or meal choices were selfish because of the impact it had on them – and that kept discouraging me…Now, I have only gained back less than 2 lbs since thanksgiving so in no way did I fall all the way back to my old ways but I have been stalled – I needed a reality check, I needed a reminder that its all up to me, I needed to know that all I was doing was whining and making excuses.

    So here we go…. its not ok that I look this way and I don’t want to I feel like shit, I look like shit and I cant do shit at this size. I’m scared. Its going to take a while but I can do this. I’m going to take my time, I’m going to learn what being healthy is, I’m going to learn what a sacrifice is because if I don’t, guess what ill be here again – or never leave. I get to decide what a treat is, and if those around me don’t like my choices then they can cook for themselves (I have no children so don’t worry no one will starve). Its ok to say “I have plans at the gym” when asked to stay late at work, or just bring fast food home for someone else at their request but make myself something at home. Its ok to say “No thank you” when someone cooks something that doesn’t fit into my plan. Its time to get selfish and be in control – and Fuck anyone who tries to make me feel guilty. I don’t have to be a bitch about it, but I have to be firm and do this for me.

  193. WOW!!! This is an amazing blog & well said. Huge thank you!!!
    It was fun to read and so very brutally true. We all know its the truth, we all know what to do… but finding an excuse not to do it is just easier, we have all made the excuses – until your eyes open and you finally realise and admit to yourself that you are the only one standing in your way of a fit & healthy life.
    Everyone wanting to make a change in their life should read this…. again and again – then print it and keep it where you can read it on a regular basis. It’s the truth and if you are offended or don’t like the style or the truth then you are not ready to change.
    Thank you – once again its an eye opener. I just signed up for the usn 12week bodymakeover, i have just finished week 2 and already started thinking what will be next – challenge myself and set new goals on a regular basis.
    I hate the whole cheat meal / cheat day excuse – yes eventually you will have the “not healthy” option but it should be a treat not a cheat. Cheating once a week… really?!?!
    I’m printing this and placing it on my fridge!!!!!

  194. True in America and true in my part of the world, South Africa. It’s about personal accountability and a willingness to change your lifestyle. I’ve set a goal to be in better shape in my 40’s than in my 30’s and I am living this already.

  195. This really hit home for me. It sounded like you were talking to me. This is an ongoing struggle for me between the bad and the good. The good rarely wins, but reading this really gave me a boost. Thanks.

  196. Good points and I have no issue with you “calling it as it is” – but you missed something important.

    Neuroscience research pinpoints a vital aspect of weight loss: control-based weight loss almost always causes weight regain.

    There is an excellent TED talk on this:

    The points you raise have a lot to do with “control” eating rather than eating “mindfully.” Even if someone accepts responsibility for their role in weight loss, that does not mean their cognitive mind will win in the long term.

    My challenge to fitness professionals is to figure out how to help people who want to lose fat to do so without using control-focused dieting.

    1. Easy. When you put food in your mouth make sure it is healthy, like fruits, nuts, meat, seeds, and vegetables instead of chips, pop, pastries, fast food, deep fried food, candy, and ice cream.

  197. BRAVO!! LOVE IT!!
    Like talking to a WALL with some people! “I wish I could do that…” Well, then you need more BACKbone & less WISHbone…
    Or the people who want what you have or to be where you are but aren’t willing to put the time & work in for it.

  198. This is my first time reading one of your posts, and I finished it feeling really vindicated. I’ve lost 100lbs over the last two years and am working on losing even more, and the questions and comments from my friends and family have driven me crazy! I thought it would be nice to be noticed for losing weight/getting in better shape, but many people in my life are so skeptical that honest sweat and healthy diet work they’ve accused me of having secret bariatric surgery or taking diet pills. When this has happened, I was not able to be as polite as you managed to be in your blog. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. My guess is that you are intimidating to them. It’s called sabotage. I have been going through it myself. Be proud of what you have accomplished and the way you have done it. I think a lot of these people feel lazy about themselves after seeing what they could do if they put their minds to it. Misery loves company.
      Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind.
      Congratulations to you on your phenomenal loss. Hold your head high because you are a winner!!

        1. You’re welcome, Jenny. Come on over to My Fitness Pal and we could help each other through this journey. That site, along with coach Taylor’s advice & blogs have saved my life.

  199. I gotta say, you hit the nail on the head with me. The reasons you listed in your blog are why I am still overfat. I do know that it is my fault. And I am working on my attitude. Thank you.

  200. so according to his own words and blog; it’s someone else’s fault not his own that he is unable to motivate and train a client and figure out what it takes to get them to that point and past where they need to be in order to achieve the goals that they pay him to do. as a personal trainer myself; I don’t blame the other individuals for my client’s failures . I ask myself where did I fail to motivate someone in such a way that they trust me to believe they can achieve their goals. he needs to listen to his own advice and look to himself for those failures and if he still has the “choice to make the decision to not train someone who is not ready ” which he is somehow able to do magically in 30 seconds.

    1. It isn’t my job to motivate a client. It is my job to train a client. They are two different things.

      A sports coach – say football or soccer – has the job of training the athletes. If the athletes don’t show up to practice or show up to practice and don’t put in the effort then the coach is unable to train them. The athlete has to take responsibility for themselves first. To follow the guidance of the coach and put in the effort.

      That is my job – to provide coaching and training – but I can only help those who are willing to put in the work and make the sacrifices.

  201. I not only admire the straight shooting but the awareness of the world and the human race in general. North Americas are spoiled brats.

  202. Here’s the deal: I’m 52. My cholesterol is great (152), my triglycerides are great, blood test all normal. I had a heart attack anyway. Four days before my insurance kicked in. Two day before I was going to sign up at the Y.

    I’m tired of feeling like a bloated pig and wearing size 44 pants instead of the 34 to 36 I should be wearing (historically).

    It’s no longer “I want to do this”. It’s “I HAVE to do this if I want to live.”

    My biggest enemies are portion control and a love of sweets. Chocolate-covered peanuts and choco chip cookies are my Kryptonite, but somehow I made it through the entire winter without making cookies once (nor buying any) and only two bags of peanuts.

    Today, my fiancee and I are going to the bike shop to pick up her new bike, and we are planning to hit the trails this weekend, weather permitting of course.

    I am taking responsibility. I have to do this, and I WANT to do this. My wants are leaving me no more choice in the matter.

    Of course, in a perfect world I’d be able to sit on my ass and eat what I want, but at my age that is no longer possible. I’m not 19 anymore.

  203. Coach Taylor – I read this in January, as I was beginning my journey to a healthier life. Thank you for the brutal honesty. I needed it. I have yo-yo’d for several years, gaining 70 lbs, then losing 50, then gaining back 40. This time it is different. Every other time I blamed my failure on a lack of time, lack of support, or the a-holes at work who brought the cake or doughnuts. Your words hit me in the face back in January and I ramped up my effort. I looked myself in the face and said, ‘Stop being a baby and realize that this is now a lifelong goal. There is no end point.’ Since I read this, I have dropped 40 lbs and dropped my blood sugar by almost 30%. My body looks healthy and my life is much better. But I am not satisfied. I have a weight loss goal, but once I get there, I know that I cannot stop. If I don’t continue to exercise and eat well, I will gain that weight back very quickly and fall into the blame trap once again. Last night, I finally showed this to my wife and she had a moment of clarity as well. Thanks for the harsh words. Sometimes the the truth does hurt. But I needed that.

  204. AWESOME!!! You hit the nail on the head! Thank you for your honesty. You are so right, people don’t want to hear the truth and have become so lazy and it’s a disgusting epidemic in this country taking a toll on every aspect of our productivity and success. Way to go! I love your humor.

  205. I’ve been trying to find your post for a while now. I read this article in January and have since lost 50lbs of fat.

    Just wanted to say thanks!!

  206. Getting fit and lean takes time; I have lost 35 lbs in 6 months and gone from a 38/40inch waist line to being 167 lbs with a 34 inch waist. Do I have a six pack yet and look like JCVD? Nope. It took me years to put on the weight and will take a good year or more before I start to look truly great…right now I’m content to be a lot slimmer and have some muscle tone and shape. As long as I’m better than I was last week then I’m moving forward and one step closer to my ultimate goal.

    Also, don’t set your goals based on looks only – genetics will play a part in your physical development. Focus instead on how you feel and your day-to-day health. Playing the long-game (staying alive, that is, for as long as possible) should be your primary focus.

  207. I enjoy these comments “YEAH! Right man- I’ve been saying this for years. You tell ’em!!!” These are – my guess- mostly from people who have never had to fight this battle. It is willpower to be sure, and it’s also much more. The serotonin released with a food addict is much like a drug addict or alcoholic. I love these book learned nutritionists who will NEVER have the knowledge base that lifelong dieters have. I assure you, I know more (this isn’t vanity, as Simon says- it’s f’ing honesty) than any nutritionist on the planet. I know from trial and error, being in the trenches- digging myself out and then throwing myself right back in. Most nutritionists have zero firsthand knowledge anything weightloss related…. it’s all from books and classroom and theory. Basically, firsthand, they don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. I am a lifelong dieter and have fought this battle and won, and fought this battle and lost. Now, based on ALL that being said, I will say this article is excellent. Serotonin notwithstanding, and knowing that everything I’ve said here is a solid gold fact (whether some of you like it or not) – I still concur with Simon that all six of these points- if practiced- using willpower and bull-dogged determination, food addict or not — these 6 facts will work. The question for me and anyone else with this struggle is- how badly do you want it? Do it, or shut up and quit whining. Myself included.

  208. Hi Coach Taylor!
    Your words moved me to comment on a blog for the very 1st time! Yep. You. Used. Profanity. Who. Cares. LOL Today at 4:30am I came across your article and your message just literally changed my perspective (and my life)! Thank you so much for sharing your honesty, your humor, and your wisdom! Well said! Take care and God bless!

  209. I have so many positive aspects of my life yet I’m stucked focusing on the negativity. But not anymore, my pity party is officially over. Watch out world the happy healthy me is coming back!! Thanks for your post!! Extremely inspiring!!

  210. This is awesome though at first I found it a bit much as well as insulting. Sometimes it isnt all in your control and the fact the author DID ackowledge the few reasons was awesome. I’m 45lbs overweight. I got there by having a baby and then a nurse damaging my spine during rare complications. I used to have a trainer, used to be fit…now I have a physical therapist and a nutritionist. I won’t be getting back in shape in a month or three. Getting to the point weight loss is a real goal for my physical therapist has taken a year of following the program and getting well enough to do more then work at repairing my spine. At healing enough I can walk with a cane.

    Sometimes you cant do a training program. Sometimes its not an option but theres a hell of a differance between this isnt for me and meh it takes too long or its too hard. I have an active baby and I have every intention of doing whatever it takes so I can play with and keep up with her. Its slower then I’d like. I have been called a wuss and written off at the few classes at the gym I go to by trainers because I stick with my program. Its not everyone elses but it wont land me in the er seven times in two months for overduing it. You want to be healthy you have to do what it takes as long as it takes and then STAY healthy.

  211. Hej Taylor accidently run into your site through youtube.I have a constant problem I am 68 from Denmark my height is 180cm weight 110 kg and my stomich is a big burden.Little knee problem and my left foot.How can I loose weight what is the best exercise for a oversize stomack.I like your attitude and I read for the first time on your site today ;It appealed to me,Thanks for your time.Your SincerelyHenrik Wendt

    1. Thanks for writing Henrik – #1 – make sure you are eating a great diet of healthy food. #2 – start with simple exercises and small daily doses of exercise and lifestyle changes. We are in the middle of a 30 Day Fitness Challenge that I think would be a great starting point for people in your exact situation!

      Check our challenge at: http://www.tayloredtraining.ca/30daychallenge
      All the details are there.

      Start small. Start simple. And know it will take time.

      There are no oversize stomach specific exercises. Don’t believe anyone who tells you otherwise!

  212. While those that find this message somewhat callous/mean, I have to ask is it really mean to tell the truth or is it mean to lead you to believe things that really aren’t true. Will you think he was being mean when you get the diabetes diagnosis? or that heart attack hits you? Is it being mean to just say it up front. I respect the author straight forward approach. A lot of articles smooth over the truth and expect you to be able to read into what they are saying. This obviously leads to misinterpretation as we know how opinions vary dramatically. I’m sorry that doing the right thing is almost always the harder decision.

  213. As an extremely fat person, I would like to say that this article is completely pointless. It is easy to say why people are fat if you have never been fat. Early in my adult life, I was a healthy weight or even underweight, and I used to think all fat people were lazy disgusting gluttons. They only eat pizza, fast food, dozens of donuts, junk food etc. I’m sure some are. Now that I am in my 40s, I know this is not the case. I am not lazy. There’s so many things I would love to do such as play sports go skydiving ride a horse or anything for that matter. But I’m too fat. Even if I wasn’t, I could not do any of these things either. Why? Because I have extremely bad asthma, a spinal deformity, and arthritis from a young age (I was skinny when I got it!). These things also make me frequently fall and break bones, which gets me even fatter. But because of insensitive people, I wouldn’t even use a scooter, when I broke my leg last year, because I would be judged for being fat. As far as food goes, I eat more than I should. But I am not a glutton. I eat no more than a normal healthy person, but my health issues cause me to lead an extremely sedentary lifestyle, which makes my caloric needs low even though I’m overweight. If I try to reduce my calories too low, my body starts to shake, and I get dizzy. I don’t even like food that much. I am known by my husband as the fattest person who doesn’t like to eat. I have willpower. I have to force food down just to stop the shakes. Gaining just five pounds a year for twenty years adds up. I don’t blame other people, but I finally don’t blame myself. This sounds morbid, but I am destined to be fat. If I could do the exercise, I would be a healthy weight. I can’t exercise though, when even typing this is too difficult on my arthritis in my fingers, so I have to use voice dictation. The only thing I used to have that I could do was swimming, but now that I have Fibromyalgia, I can barely even do that or I get a flareup. So any advice for someone with a terrible body that hates food, but still manages to be a fat slob?

    1. Medically supervised programming is seemingly the only option based on what you have described. And I grew up pretty overweight – so I do not agree it is completely pointless. In your comment above you blame everything and everyone but yourself. I recognize you have medical issues now – but you still have to own it.

  214. This topic has been been written about so many times so it’s not shock therapy to me. It is not rude as there is no underlying personal attack on anyone just an opinion that many people agree with including myself.
    It is a great reminder for myself and the times we live in we tend to blame external entities for our failure or use cognitive dissonance to make ourselves feel better but when one acknowledges their issue and take ownership there is change if they want it.
    Nice article as it is thought provoking which in turns creates discussion then comes learning so hats off to all who have been involved !!!! Cheers to the author

  215. I read the title of this blog post and was totally prepared to find another fat bashing, you’re a disgusting pig, rant. Much to my surprise (due to the title shared on FB) it falls totally in line with how I view my success or failure at weight loss and exercise. You’ve done a great job of giving a kick in the pants advice without the recriminations that are usually mixed in to “motivate” those who are packing pounds. It’s obvious that you really do care about the person you are coaching instead of putting on the facade of caring while underneath despising them for having the temerity of being fat. Being honest about what’s keeping them from their goals doesn’t make you an asshole, it makes you some who can be trusted with their wellbeing. Kudos.

  216. I think you had a lot of good information in there. But honestly, if you were my trainer, I would fire you 🙂 Only because you don’t talk to “fat” people like you respect them, and being overweight (or “overfat”, which I actually like better) doesn’t make people any less worthy of respect.

    Since your information is good and full of common sense, it is a shame that your way of speaking turns people off, because I think you could reach so many more people if you attempted to be at all motivating in your tone.

    (I have really only been overweight for about two years and it is largely health related so I do realize that I am not really your key demographic anyway. But I read it so I thought I’d share)

    1. I haven’t disrespected anyone. I have not shown any lack of respect. I have simply told the truth. I was over fat most of my life so I am not unfamiliar with everything that goes along with that.

      This blog has been viewed over 2 million times, so I would say it is reaching quite a few people. And I have thousands of comments, emails, and responses from people that are very positive.

      The blog is NOT an attempt to be motivating. It is designed to have people take a long hard look at themselves, their own thoughts and feelings, and what steps they can take in their own lives.

      You may have fired me, there is a good chance I would not have taken you on as a client.

      Not sure what my target demographic is according to your statement but it seems if you have been dealing with weight issues for a short time and from specific health related reasons, then you are far less qualified than I am to have a commentary on the issues.

      1. With respect, number of views and positive responses means little to me. I mean Trump get that too….:) I meant “reach” on a deeper level.

        I guess you and I have different definitions of respect. Having a trainer who openly rants and raves about his clients online is not my idea of respect, nor is speaking to people so callously. To me, you sound like you have distain for the overfat. Perhaps that is not true but how it sounded to me. Although I suspect you don’t care.

        And I don’t find you particularly qualified either as you seem to lack knowledge of the psychology behind eating issues so….neither of us would hire the other. Fair enough 🙂

        I only commented because you seemed to appreciate feedback and didn’t strike mecas someone who would be overly bothered byva negative review. Apologies if I interpreted that wrong.

  217. I don’t believe he has disdain for the overfat.

    He has disdain for the person who is overfat but isn’t willing to change their behavior to reach the rewards they say they want. The magic pill doesn’t exist. Hard work and dedication to continue working at it every day is the only way to make a goal reachable.

    Put in the time, effort and sacrifice and you will see rewards. Decide it’s too hard, too strict, too tiring, and well, see yourself in the mirror and that’s where you will be in one year, five years, ten years.

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