Top 10 Signs Your Trainer is a Fucking Idiot
#1 – They put you on machines
I almost want to laugh at people who still pay trainers who put them on machines; especially machine circuits. Seriously?
I don’t even laugh anymore or get angry at ‘trainers’ who use machines. I have given up on that. No, now I laugh at people who are stupid enough to let these people teach them fitness, not only let them, but PAY them for it.
For real – if a ‘trainer’ is an advocate for machine training they are uneducated idiots who have no right building or coaching fitness programs. I am very, very, dead serious about this. Fire them-Now.
#2 – You could get their certification
Personal training certifications all suck. There are definitely some that are better than others.
If you could go take a weekend course and have the same qualifications as your trainer – you are not paying a fitness expert. You are paying you.
Most fitness certs are companies trying to make money not necessarily creating fitness professionals. You should not be able to get the certs your trainer has without some serious time and energy -Years of it!
And realistically, why are you paying a trainer who hasn’t invested the years required to have reputable certifications? NSCA, NASM, and ACSM are all good certifications to look for. And if you can pass their credentialing exams you probably could be a trainer.
Make sure your trainer is knowledgeable enough to be a trainer.
#3 – They build sport specific programs that mimic the sport itself
What is Sport specific? Most people have no idea what that means. BOSU balls, ankle weights, drills in agility ladders and strapping parachutes to your body are not sport specific training. I am not saying those things don’t have a place in fitness. But they are not sport specific training.
Sport specific training focuses on developing the appropriate neuromuscular patterns, energy systems, musculature, and movement that will carry over to the sport. It is not mimicking the sport movements itself. That is actually a sure way to decrease your sport performance.
Your trainer probably doesn’t know this though. So fire them.
#4 – They have you taking more supplements than food
Key word: supplements. A supplement is something that is added IN ADDITION to something else. Here we must discuss healthy nutrition.
There is no need whatsoever to take ANY supplements if your diet sucks. Well, there might be. If your diet sucks so much and you’re a lazy slob who refuses to fix it that you don’t get adequate nutrition, you might need a supplement.
But sports supplements, protein powders, BCAA’s, caffeine, glutamine, fat burners, and all the other products out there. Yes, some have an effect. But none will do anything if you do not have a healthy diet (and exercise!!!) program in check.
If you are taking supplements and not eating well and exercising regularly you might as well join all the people waiting in line for a magical gastric bypass surgery that is going to make them skinny. It won’t work for them and won’t work for you.
#5 – They keep you alone and isolated
Being alone sucks. Most of us spend a lot of our time trying to not be alone. Family, friends, dating, dinner parties – we like to be with other people.
Training is the same. Training works better when other people are involved.
Crap trainers isolate you with one on one ‘private’ training because they know this. They are forcing you to need them so you keep paying them money.
#6 – You haven’t seen results in weeks
Weeks-That’s right. You should notice improvements every couple of weeks. If you haven’t everything should be changing to get you moving towards your goals.
If your trainer doesn’t measure this – fire them. If you are doing the same workout you did 2 months ago and are not noticing progress or are unhappy with your fitness level – fire the trainer.
It is their JOB to get you to your goals. That is all you should be experiencing. You could get around and stay fat and lazy all on your own and save the money.
#7 – The last conference they attended was…what’s a conference?
Conferences are where we learn. See what’s new. Advance our knowledge. See what is happening in the field.
Your trainer needs to constantly be staying up to date on the industry and EVEN MORE IMPORTANT on the always evolving fields of anatomy, physiology, biomechanics, to name a few.
#8 – The last fitness book they read was 5 Minute Abs
You can read 5 Minute Abs. Or any other book at the local bookstore. Why are you paying someone that is simply reiterating what they read in books you can go buy and read on your own? Seem’s a little stupid.
Your trainer should be reading the latest information from the leading experts in the field. Not a bunch of authors who have no business writing health and fitness books (no, Gillian Michaels and Alicia Silverstone are not qualified to create and teach fitness programs).
#9 – They claim to be THE leading expert
Leading expert. Haha. Idiot. No, they aren’t . If they were they would be travelling all over the place speaking and educating, writing for trade publications, and all the other stuff that comes along with being THE expert.
We are all a part of the field. I am very educated, qualified, and experienced. I am not an expert. I could write out a long list of people who know more than me. Instead of purporting to being awesome I spend my time trying to learn from people who are more knowledgeable and experienced than I am.
Especially if you trainer is training you in their garage, living room, or your basement. How many experts do that?
#10 – You aren’t having fun
This might not seem important. It is thought.
If you aren’t having fun you will not be doing it long term. As I coach all my staff – the number one priority is that our clients have a good time that they enjoy their experience and that coming in to workout is something they look forward to; it’s the best part of their day. A perk instead of a chore!
If you aren’t experiencing that why are you paying this person money? It’s like paying to go to the dentist for no reason…