What are you capable of?
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living”.
I get into arguments a lot, especially when it comes to goal setting. Mostly because I think there is a big difference between what people think they are capable of and what they are actually capable of. My job in life is to show people what is realistic and what they truly are capable of.
Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe you can accomplish anything you put your mind to-always. If you want something, go and get it. Work for it and earn it. The key is to know what is realistic, and the biggest problem I have when I watch people set goals is that they are not realistic.
There are two types of unrealistic goal setting scenarios.
1) Setting ambitious goals and then getting frustrated when you’re not achieving those goals even though they you aren’t putting in the required work.
2) Being too scared of failure and never letting yourself actually push to your own capabilities.
“Ambitious Lazy People” is what I call them…I hope you’re not one of them.
Simply setting a goal and buying a gym membership is NOT enough to achieve the objective. You are actually going to have to do some work, make some sacrifices, and push past your comfort level.
Those who set New Year’s resolutions fit into this category of people quite nicely. January 1st everyone gets up ready to go. Weight loss goals, gym attendance goals, and commitment to a healthy diet and exercise program last about only 2- 4 weeks. Why? Simply because most “ resolutioners” are lazy (harsh, but you know I’m right).
What? You thought just saying you were going to the gym was enough? You did realize you ACTUALLY HAVE to GO to the gym and DO EXERCISE in order to achieve any of your targets, right? And that to change your physique you are actually going to have to change the food you put in your mouth?
You can’t simply say it and it is so. You have to put the work in.
You want a flat stomach? Six pack abs? Defined legs? Shapely shoulders? ANYONE can achieve those physique goals. BUT you have to work hard, sacrifice, be dedicated, learn the right programming and get the right coaching and support. But you can do it; if you put in the work.
Most people sadly revert into lazy mode. They moan and whine about how they don’t have enough time, their genetics suck, they had to eat crap at the weekend party, or they pick any of the other multitude of excuses the spew out of their mouths like a reflex.
None of this matters. It is how hard you work for it, how bad you want it, what you are willing to do to achieve it.
Ambitious goals are fantastic. Lazy people will never get there. There is no luck when it comes to achieving these things. It is simply a factor of how hard you work for it-period (well, exclamation mark really!). Everything else is just an excuse.
Scared to Try?
If you set a goal you might not accomplish it. This is true.
The appropriate response to this is NOT to set lower goals.
That is like all this nonsense we are teaching to children that there is no such thing as a loser, or that second place is as good as first place, and that participation is good enough. Sorry, that is all crap. Because in the real world, when you apply for a job, if you’re second you don’t get the job. If you’re trying to win a tournament and you’re second, you don’t win. This isn’t insensitive – it’s life. It is the way things actually work.
The real way to look at it is that if you don’t win that is ok. Reassess and figure out why your results didn’t happen and then work hard to improve your skills and try again (and again, and again).
Too often people think of not achieve their results as failure. It isn’t failure. It’s a lesson to give you the tools to achieve what you want. If you attempt easier goals because you are too afraid of failing and not achieving your target, you will never achieve your full potential.
A lot of you reading this blog probably disagree with me. You are also probably the people who never achieve what you are capable of. You call it safe, being smart, not getting your hopes up. What it actually is is selling yourself short and taking the easy route out. Making excuses for not even trying.
Here is an argument I have all the time with people and have written about before, which nicely exemplifies what I am talking about.
Half marathons are stupid. They are a marketing ploy. Want the truth? If you can run a half marathon you can run a full marathon. All this crap about how much harder the training program is and the extra time commitment is, is just that, crap. It’s a lie. Physiologically if you can get through the half you can get through the full. You might need to tweak your program a bit and train harder, but the main difference is the challenge is all in your head.
Ask people who have done both, they will tell you the same thing. The difference between the full and the half is whether or not you think you can do it. It’s a psychological goal, ESPECIALLY if you have already done a half. You’re just taking the easy way out. Not making the commitment. Attempting an easier target so there is less risk of failure. You’re scared.
Ever watch the TV show the Biggest Loser? Not saying it is the best training program for the contestants, but the top 3 or 4 people run a marathon. They can do it after being grossly obese in just 12 weeks of training. Yes, they get injured and have a host of ailments. But you aren’t 300lbs overweight with all of their other issues either. They get through it. Maybe not in world record time but they do it. Because they believe they can.
They aren’t scared to try. If you never try you will never know. And if you try and don’t achieve it, wait, it’s ok to use this word, if you try and “FAIL” that is ok as well. Then it is a learning experience to adjust what you were doing and achieve more next time. If you never try you are simply succumbing to your fear and you will never know your potential.
If you want to run a race, do a marathon. If you want a six pack stomach, then do it. If you want to work out 5 times a week, then make it happen. Anyone can achieve any of these things.
If you are too afraid to try then it won’t happen. And you will never fully realize your own potential, your entire life will follow suit.
Ask anyone who has achieved great things and they will tell you the same thing. Yeah, it was scary. They worried they might fail, but they probably did a few times. But what makes them different is that they set the goal and went to work.
What is the difference between successful people and non-successful people?
They actually tried (and tried again and again) until they achieved success, and then got to work on setting their next goal.